Internet meme and stereotype culture has met up with the popular fascination with personality types. Introverts, extroverts, ambiverts…there’s sure to be a meme with your name on it!
While many of these make me laugh, there are a few myths about my fellow extrovert mamas that I think need to be addressed.
Extrovert Mom Myth #1: Extrovert Moms find it easy to make friends and never feel left out
Extrovert mamas often appear confident in group situations. When we’re nervous, we may even talk more, not less.
But sometimes those obvious signs of extroversion disguise genuine social anxiety. Recently I spoke with another extrovert friend of mine who mentioned how hard it can be to be a shy extrovert! Just because we find nourishment from interacting with people doesn’t mean it is always easy for us to figure out how to make friends at that new homeschool co-op or ladies bible study.
Additionally, because we yearn for connection with other people, and may be in tune to the social dynamics in the room, we may also be especially sensitive to feeling isolated from already-established friend groups. Sometimes we make this even worse for ourselves when we keep externally processing in public trying to figure out how to join the group…only to say something awkward, inappropriate, or otherwise embarrassing.
Not that I’ve ever done this. Ahem.
Extrovert Mom Myth #2: Extrovert Moms Don’t Need Alone Time
If you ever wonder if you’re an extrovert or an introvert, notice how you feel after a night out with a group of friends. When I come home after a night with dear friends, I feel energized! I can’t go to sleep! I want to re-talk through everything that happened (if you don’t talk about it afterwards, did it even really happen?). My husband also enjoys a night out with friends. When he comes home afterwards, however, he wants to go to sleep and not talk to anyone for a while! I’m energized by my interactions with other people; he is drained and needs to re-energize by time alone.
However, this does not mean extrovert mamas don’t also desperately need alone time! Homeschooling extrovert moms, especially, are always surrounded by little (and bigger) people. Often at the end of the day I can’t imagine talking even to a dear friend! The thought of one more person asking me a question fills me with dismay! I just want to go the bathroom by myself, please.
Extrovert moms need moments of quiet to refresh just like introverts. Mamas, we must make this a priority. It is too easy for us to fill even our moments of quiet with the noise of podcasts or music or some other external stimuli. Times of silence give us an opportunity to hear our own thoughts, or to meditate on God’s Word. Especially in seasons of stress or emotional difficulty, make sure you are taking times to pause. That silence with our own thoughts can be very painful sometimes for extroverts, but it is also very necessary for our spiritual and mental health.
Extrovert Mom Myth #3: Extrovert Moms aren’t Thoughtful/Philosophical
The stereotypes I sometimes see online seem to espouse the idea that introverts love to contemplate deep ideas while extroverts are flamboyant party animals.
Now, I’m not against a party, but I am certainly against an assumption that just because I’m an extrovert I can’t also be a philosopher! An extrovert can love hygge, good books, and a warming hot beverage as much as an introvert!
Now, we extroverts may be really excited to share our contemplations with you rather than musing on them all by ourselves. We may prefer to process our internal debates out loud. We may even end up saying dumb things as we externally process (we have a lot to learn from introverts about waiting before we speak!).
Perhaps a more appropriate distinction is to say that extroverts often prefer philosophy in community to contemplation alone. I love few things as much as having deep discussions with my friends! When I read or learn a new idea, I immediately want to call up a fellow deep thinker or have a lengthy debate with my husband.
Extrovert Homeschool Mom Party
Extrovert Homeschool Moms experience many unique challenges and advantages. I was so excited to join my friends Lynna (Homeschooling Without Training Wheels) and Mary (Not Before 7) for a LIVE video party. (Basically, we just wanted to hang out and talk together. You know. Stereotypical extroverts. 🤣)
You can watch the replay here! Even if you’re an introvert, you may learn something about those crazy extrovert friends of yours. 😉
Do you consider yourself an extrovert or an introvert? What are your favorite parts of your personality? What are the challenges you face? Is there something you wish folks from the other personality perspectives understood about the way you see the world? Join the conversation on Facebook or Instagram. And don’t forget to sign up for my email list for subscriber exclusives!
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*Photo credit for post image: Photo by Court Prather on Unsplash
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This popped up in my feed tonight: https://rainforestmind.wordpress.com/2019/01/28/gifted-extrovert/
Thought it tied in well with your post!
Thanks for sharing!
I’m an amnivert. It’s funny how parenting has brought out one side or another at different stages. When my child was an infant, I remember how energizing it was to finally get out with other grown ups…I was like you, I came home pacing and talking and full of excitement and energy (not always the case…sometimes I come home from being around people and just want to go be alone for a while). When my kids started talking…NONSTOP…it brought out my introvert side. Every moment of free time I had was spent hiding from people (or chatting online, which I think is amnivert paradise…you get to talk with people without having to TALK, and you can stop whenever you want).
I can relate to wanting to hide from people sometimes. lol I think it’s fascinating how much variety God has built into all of our different personalities! Parenting, especially in the younger years, definitely can make one question your personality type!
Oh, my word! I am just now discovering this post and want to share it with my introverted children who are so confused by my crowd dynamics, and my extroverted children who also have been misunderstood! hahaha! This is very accurate! 🙂