Your child doesn’t really hate learning – but it just might feel like it. All. Day. Long.
Maybe the light in your child’s eyes for learning is beginning to dim. Maybe you and your child are going through the motions but the spark of curiosity is gone. Some of our kids end up in shut down mode and resist any type of formal or forced learning.
Fortunately, there are things we can do to help restore their love of learning. I call it the homeschool reset. It’s sometimes called “deschooling” which is often referred to as the transition process that a child and parent go through when they leave the public school system to begin homeschooling – but it’s so much more than that!
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3 Key Ways to Reset Your Homeschool When You’re Going Through a Difficult Season
by Michelle Brownell
Here are three practical ways you can reset your homeschool and bring the joy back into learning.
Reset the Nervous System
Kids (and parents) who are under chronic stress and anxiety from the school system (or way of homeschooling) need time for their nervous systems to heal and find calm again. Staying in that constant state can lead to burn-out for both of you. Calming your nervous system happens when you reduce expectations and intentionally bring in things that will soothe you.
When our family experienced a sudden death in our family, I continued to do school as normal in hopes of providing a consistent routine for my kids. What I didn’t realize was that we were all still deeply processing grief and all the stress that came along with it. After months of watching the light for learning go out in my son’s eyes, I knew it was time to do something different.
We pulled out of outside classes, so we weren’t on someone else’s timeline. We still continued to learn; it just looked a little different. We read books together and allowed discussing the story to be enough. We spent time outside, played games, watched movies, and traveled across the country in our RV.
Healing the nervous system is about breaking free from a chronic lifestyle of stress – and the impacts of that – and slowing down and reducing the demands.
Reconnect with Your Child
Constant management of school assignments and resistance can take its toll on the relationship. A homeschool reset can help you step away from constant struggle and repair the relational connection by prioritizing time and fun together.
Engage in conversations that are simply about spending time together and not about solving a problem. Find a show or movie you enjoy watching together and have great discussions about it. Find something you enjoy doing and invite your child to join you. Laugh. Play. Research shows that play is one of the most powerful forms of connection and learning.
During this time, I not only played video games with my son (and he laughed at me the entire time!) but I also got to know him in a different way and built a deeper connection with him. I got to see more of how his brain works and how he thinks and processes information.
Taking time to enter your child’s world and let them know they matter simply for who they are, not for what they can get done in a school day is healing.
Restore the Love of Learning
It’s okay to take a break from your usual curriculum and even your routine. Consistency is wonderful and has its place, but when the lights have gone out in your child’s eyes (or yours!), the brain needs novelty.
I know there is the concern that your child may fall behind if you step away from what you are currently doing, but when the brain is under stress, they aren’t able to learn in that state anyway. Plus, when you shift your mindset from being about school to being about learning you begin to realize your child is learning all the time.
Follow interests. Deep dive into an area that brings joy & delight. Play learning games. Focus only on 1 or 2 subjects that your child loves and build their confidence back up. Lean into new experiences. Allow your child to have some choice in what books to read or places to visit.
My son spent this time taking a deep dive into Greek Mythology. He enjoyed it so much that he learned all he could. He then discovered a National Greek Mythology Exam that happens once a year and asked if he could sign up for it. Without any formal study, he took the test and earned a certificate and medal! Because of the level of knowledge he gained in that subject, we put it on his high school transcript!
The gift of time brings the spark of learning back in their eyes. Find out what lights your child up!
A homeschool reset is more than just taking a break. It’s about breaking free from a school at home mindset and truly embracing freedom and leaning into the unlimited possibilities of what learning can be.
It’s temporary. It’s about decompressing and bringing life back into your days. For some families that may be a month, for others it can be as long as 3-6 months. You may discover that it can also lead to an entirely new way of homeschooling.
Michelle Brownell is a home educator, parent coach, consultant, and speaker – supporting parents for more than 15 years in the learning, social, and emotional areas of development. She is the founder of Homeschool Essentials, an online support community for parents home educating their children – bringing in the latest info on parenting, education, and mental health. She is also the homeschool specialist for Bright & Quirky, an international online community for parents with kids who are twice-exceptional (2e) and the community coordinator for Big Life Journal.
Michelle is passionate about helping homeschool parents build connections with their kids, enjoy their homeschool journey, and thrive every day — even when life gets hard! You can connect with Michelle at Homeschool Essentials or follow her on IG where she shares more about life & homeschooling in her stories.
Other resources for encouraging a love of learning when homeschooling is hard:
- Homeschooling with Confidence in Times of Crisis (with Vicki Bentley)
- Homeschool Conversations Podcast: homeschooling encouragement
- Encouragement for the Homeschooling Mom with Chronic Illness
- From School to Homeschooling: How to Deschool and Craft the Homeschool You Dreamed
- Strengthening Your Marriage During Hard Times
- 4 Top Tips For Taking Care Of Yourself As A Homeschool Mom
