Homeschooling High School: Transforming Worries into Triumphs

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Are you thinking about homeschooling through high school? Jennifer Cabrera, the seasoned homeschooling mom with 2 graduates behind the beloved Hifalutin Homeschooler website, shares insights, strategies, and firsthand experiences from her homeschooling journey. From navigating the decision to homeschool through high school to addressing common concerns and debunking myths, she shares valuable wisdom that resonates with both experienced homeschoolers and those considering this educational path for the first time. Keep reading for knowledge and inspiration to help you navigate the unique challenges and joys of homeschooling through the high school years.

homeschooling high school jennifer cabrera hifalutin homeschooler homeschool conversations

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Homeschooling high school doesn’t have to be scary

Jennifer begins by addressing common preconceptions about homeschooling high school, highlighting the initial fear of committing to homeschooling throughout the high school years. Despite concerns about academic rigor and transcript credibility, Jennifer found that homeschooling high school was more relaxed and enjoyable than anticipated. She emphasizes the importance of providing resources, fostering independence, and allowing teens to explore their interests.

Interest-led learning while homeschooling high school

Jennifer encouraged her sons to pursue their passions, such as aviation and computer programming, by supporting their interests without imposing a strict curriculum. She emphasizes the value of hands-on learning and allowing teens to take the lead in their education. Additionally, Jennifer promotes the benefits of dual credit courses, which enabled her sons to earn their associate’s degrees while still in high school, boosting their confidence and readiness for college.

Socialize like a homeschooler

“But what about socialization?!” There are common concerns about socialization and the transition to the real world for homeschoolers. Jennifer challenges the misconception that homeschoolers lack social skills, highlighting the diverse social opportunities available to homeschooling families. She emphasizes the importance of integrating real-world experiences into homeschooling, such as grocery shopping and vet visits, to prepare teens for adulthood.

Is homeschooling worth the sacrifice?

In response to doubts about homeschooling capabilities and sacrifices, Jennifer offers reassurance and practical advice. She encourages parents to prioritize their children’s well-being and take a flexible approach to homeschooling, adapting to their family’s needs and circumstances. Jennifer emphasizes that homeschooling is a rewarding journey that requires dedication and perseverance but ultimately leads to fulfilling outcomes for both parents and students.

Jennifer’s experiences offer inspiration and practical guidance for navigating the challenges and triumphs of homeschooling through the high school years.

More homeschooling high school resources

Listen to the full podcast episode “Homeschooling High School with Hifalutin Homeschooler Jennifer Cabrera,” Homeschool Conversations with Humility and Doxology Season 9, Episode 5

Jennifer Cabrera, the Hifalutin Homeschooler, is a writer of homeschool truth, humor, and inspiration. Jennifer lives in Texas with her husband and three brilliant boys. She is a licensed physician’s assistant and master of public health, but set aside that career for her ultimate life’s work. She is also the author of Socialize Like a Homeschooler: A Humorous Homeschool Handbook and Revolting Writing, a hilarious writing, vocabulary, and illustration journal for reluctant writers. She is a featured speaker at Great Homeschool Conventions and her memes and witty insights are widely shared on social media.

Links mentioned in “Homeschooling High School with Hifalutin Homeschooler Jennifer Cabrera“

Amy Sloan: Hello, friends. Today, I am joined by Jennifer Cabrera, the Hifalutin Homeschooler. She’s the writer of homeschool truth, humor, and inspiration. Jennifer lives in Texas with her husband and three brilliant boys. She is a licensed physician’s assistant and master of public health, but set aside that career for her ultimate life’s work. She is also the author of Socialize Like a Homeschooler: A Humorous Homeschool Handbook and Revolting Writing, a hilarious writing, vocabulary, and illustration journal for reluctant writers. She is a featured speaker at Great Homeschool Conventions and her memes and witty insights are widely shared on social media.

I have personally been following you on Facebook for many years now and always enjoy the smiles, the laughs, and the thought-provoking content there as well. Jennifer, that’s sort of the official bio, but tell us about yourself, your family, and how you guys originally got started homeschooling.

Jennifer Cabrera: Okay, well, you covered a lot there in the bio. My husband and I are both actually physician assistants, and we met in school. We’ve been married 21 years, and as you said, we homeschool here in Texas. Three boys, two of which have graduated and moved on, and I have my youngest here, who is my real homeschool guinea pig. My oldest two, I pulled out of school after the second grade. When things weren’t going as planned, my husband and I were both public school graduates, so we just assumed that that’s what we should do because that’s all we ever knew and never really thought about homeschooling because homeschoolers are weird, right?

But things didn’t go so well in the second grade, and my boys actually loved to learn. I could see the light go off, and it just was a battle to get in the car and go to school every morning, and I missed them probably more than they missed me. We had done so much together before they ever started school. They knew their colors, their numbers, their shapes. They were reading a little bit. It never clicked that I was already homeschooling because, like I said, they were supposed to go to school.

In second grade, it went downhill, and I had a few, I don’t want to say arguments, but run-ins with some teachers about things that didn’t go the way that we thought that they should, and then I thought to myself, “What am I doing?” I know I can do a better job. If you’re going to ruin your kids, you might as well take them home and do it yourself, right? I begged my husband to let me at least try to homeschool. I know I can do this. Just let me try, and if not, we’ll put them back in school. It was that one day at a time. Just let me take a chance on it, and it worked, so we didn’t look back.

After the first month, we knew this was going to work for us, but we did the one year at a time for those family members that were worried we were going to ruin them. We would just tell them, one year at a time, one year at a time, and I think deep down we knew this was going to work for us. That’s how we got started homeschooling right after second grade with my oldest two, so I just never put my youngest in because he wanted to be with his older brothers anyway, so it worked out.

Amy: I think that so often, parents are worried about homeschooling because they think it sounds scary or like, “I don’t know if I know everything. I need to know to teach them,” but like you were saying, a lot of the things you had already been teaching them all along, you just hadn’t thought of it that way, right? You were just being mom, and how much of homeschooling is very organic in that same way, even as they get older.

Jennifer: Yes, they would go to school, and they were there for eight hours, and I would think, “What are you guys doing all day?” Because they would come home with all of this homework that I was supposed to help redo, or maybe they hadn’t done anything all day. I thought, “Well, I’m teaching them anyway because we’re having to read these readers three times in a row and do these little counting things,” and all these questions in my mind started making sense about why homeschooling actually is a thing and I’m doing it anyway.

Yes, it was just that shove to get angry with the school enough to push me into, you can do this, you already know you can, so everyone needs that one little shove, I guess.

Amy: Yes. In the years since then, where you I guess a bit surprisingly, found yourself homeschooling, and now those young men are graduates, how have you seen your thoughts about education, your approach to homeschooling, grow or change over the years?

Jennifer: I would say that I’m probably more of a type A person, a control freak anyway, and I had to get past that. I guess our first year homeschooling, we did every single stinking page in the workbooks and all of the textbooks, and we checked all the boxes, but we also wanted to do the homeschooling thing, so we went on all of the field trips and went to all of the Christmas activities that we didn’t get to go to when they were in school and all of the summer camps.

We were going to do everything, and I basically wore us all out the first year because we were still, we had to say the pledge, make our beds, get dressed, and morning announcement, it wasn’t that bad, but it was very much school at home the first year, on top of all the homeschool perks, so it was nuts. My mom is a former public school teacher, so she laughed at me the first year, which she was behind me with homeschooling from the start, but she laughed at me for finishing every single page and every single exercise and activity because she said, “We don’t even do that in the public school.”

I was an overachiever that first year, but I stepped back afterwards because I thought, “I’m going to wear them out. They’re going to miss the lunch line and going to school and sitting with their friends in a square room all day because I’m wearing them out.” We took a more eclectic, creative approach, and I decided to let go of that structure that it really doesn’t make sense outside of the classroom, and we don’t have to write everything down, and we don’t even have to get dressed unless someone’s going to show up at the door.

Then there was just, we can eat Goldfish crackers and whatever we’re doing, we can eat, whatever we want to get up and stop and run around the house and play with the dog, take a break and a breather that we could. It took me years to get to relax homeschool. I shouldn’t say relax homeschooling. It’s more of our recipe for homeschooling and what works for us, but to step outside of that school box and live and learn together, make it more relaxed. I’ve definitely come off of my type A homeschooling, but I can’t say that we follow any specific method.

We’re not classical homeschoolers, not Charlotte Mason, although that’s just the most beautiful homeschool method. I just look at it all the time and think if I had girls instead of boys, we might have been Charlotte Mason homeschoolers, but we’re eclectic, and we do what works for us with all different types. We probably bring in all of those methods into our own unique crazy mix that works for boys.

Amy: I know that Pam Barnhill, and I love what she calls it. She calls it us schooling, our version of homeschooling is what works for our unique family, and that can be a perk for a lot of homeschool families.

Jennifer: Very much so. Yes, I know Pam Barnhill, smart lady.

Amy: What have been some of your favorite parts of homeschooling?

Jennifer: Ooh, my favorite part. Okay. With that, losing that whole type A, we have to check all the boxes. Homeschooling became fun. I got to be a kid again. I started thinking, “Okay, go back when you were in the third grade. What did you not like about it? What were the fun parts and what would have really been nice if you could have gotten out of the chair? How would you learn?” Started implementing those things and a lot of the most fun thing about homeschooling for me, which I guess obviously I’m supposed to say being with my children, which is just it’s obvious.

Duh? I want to be with my kids. That’s why I brought them home. I get to be a kid and learn right along with them. I feel like I’ve retaught myself. All of my elementary and middle school and high school, now that we’ve graduated to have retaught myself all of these things and learned right alongside them. It was just fun to just get on their level and remember learning multiplication tables, what wasn’t fun about that in school? Why do we have to sit in the chair and sit here and drill with a pencil? Why can’t we stand up and march around the room and say them out loud and throw M&Ms out when they get them correct?

Why can’t we put our hands on all of the science things? Because in classes, you sit there with 25 other kids and maybe one person gets called forward and gets to mix the things and watch the volcano erupt. At home, everybody can get involved and we can do messy things that they didn’t allow in school. We can go see the things. We don’t just sit at home. Being a kid again was probably one of my favorite parts of homeschooling and still is, even though the only one I have left is in high school now. Even in high school, they like to get messy. They like to throw M&Ms at them when they get something right. They like food. It’s all about the food, always.

Amy: Yes, it’s never a bad time for a snack.

Jennifer: No. Then also, no matter the age, but especially as they get older, middle school and higher. One of the best things about homeschooling that I think is focusing on their interests and how they learn best and getting to not wait till graduation. It’s not learning to live and waiting to get out there in the real world. This is your life now. One of my sons got his pilot’s license in high school, so he was able to do that because homeschool frees up a lot of time.

But we weren’t telling him, “No, you have to wait until you’re in the real world,” which is such a funny argument because people say homeschoolers are not socialize and how will they learn to be in the real world? It’s just laughable because we are in the real world and not stuck in a box waiting to graduate and get to do those things. Not to jump a topic there, but one of my greatest things about homeschooling would probably be getting to focus on what they’re interested in.

You can even take subjects that seem not to be related, like English and you can turn that into an interest of theirs. You can write a paper just about anything, so they don’t have to sit in a classroom and focus on what the teacher is constantly poking at them. They can take those subjects and apply them to their interests and life goals and really get ahead.

Amy: It’s such a joy to me to see my teens becoming their own unique people. I think that’s one of my favorite things just about the teen years is you really start seeing them as these unique individuals and different from you and different from your husband and having their own thoughts, their own interests, their own quirks. Sometimes you’re like, “Why is that interesting to you?” I don’t know, but we’ll go with it. It’s really fun to just see them becoming the people that God has made them to be.

That’s a really fun part to get to be on the sidelines really close. To not just see that in bits and pieces at the end of the day, but to be with them in those years is really precious.

Jennifer: Absolutely.

Amy: Those are really great parts of homeschooling, and we love homeschooling. It’s awesome and not every day is really fun and wonderful and happy. What have been some of the challenges of homeschooling that you’ve faced and what are some ways you found to overcome those challenges?

Jennifer: I guess a big one for me early on and then I hear from a lot of my readers is time management. I think parents and I had to get past, and I think a lot of new homeschoolers have to get past, there’s seems to be two groups. There’s those that are type A like me, like we have to spend this amount of time on this subject and we have to be up at this time, and we have to do 30 minutes of PE in the driveway or all these things. Then overstimulating and over structuring and then there’s, “Well, we’ll get to it when we get to it.”

The time management became this battle of I want to be fun and relaxed, but I also don’t want to get behind and not do anything. My motto became, never put off till tomorrow what you can do today while public school is still in session. Those were the moments we wanted to get out of the house and do the fun things and the field trips and all of that. But I wanted my boys to be prepared for whatever path they wanted to choose. If they were going to go to college, I didn’t want to be the handicap that kept them from it because I didn’t make them do things.

I think that we need to expect of our kids. One of the other challenges is obviously time management, but expecting our kids and then modeling those expectations. You can’t get mad at your kids because they didn’t finish an assignment and you’re still over here deciding what they’re going to do when they finish it. Our kids notice things like, we’re modeling this for them. I have expectations and I would write plans at the beginning of each week. This is what I expect you to do each day and you can work ahead, but I don’t want you to be behind.

I only wrote these a week in advance and I still do this for my youngest son. I write a week in advance, I don’t do months of planning. I mean obviously, there’s a general idea and a goal, but there’s a week’s worth of lessons and this day must be done before screen time, time with friends, going outside, and for hours at a time obviously, I let him run around the house if he’d like to shake his legs, but there was a certain amount of expectations because the world’s not going to accommodate them outside of homeschooling.

I did want to prepare them for that. That’s a challenge. That became, I want to be the fun mom, but I’m also your mom, not your friend, and, “Oh, I love you, you can look at me however you want, [chuckles] but I’m still your homeschool teacher here.” Those are two of the challenges. For parents, a lot of times, it’s just putting on your big girl pants or big boy pants and having to be the heavy at times. But then like you said, the days don’t always go how we expect.

Sometimes we get sick, the kids get sick, parents get sick, life throws you a curve ball, and you’re having to run errands and you’re not expecting to or jobs get in the way, financial problems, all of those things. I think that you have to have that grace for yourself and for your kids and model how to handle that, but not to the point of giving up and stopping. Like continuing on how can we get around this and what are you going to learn in that struggle and to get back up on your feet because all those little eyes are watching.

Those things are there and I think that keeps a lot of people from wanting to homeschool because they think, well, if everything falls apart at home, at least they can go to school. But there’s so much learning in what even what falls apart and that kids learn to cope with life struggles earlier if they’re allowed to be a part of them and allowed to witness us being adults.

Amy: I think that’s really true. We’re seeing that in our own family this year. You can have difficult seasons of homeschooling, maybe it could be a good thing like a new baby, but that can kind of throw things off for families for a short amount of time, right? Or a move or a job change, caring for an elderly relative, things like that, or having some sickness. Right now, our youngest son is going through cancer treatment and I made the decision, it was a few weeks after the beginning of our homeschool year when we got his diagnosis.

I just sat everyone down and I didn’t want to completely just throw up my hands and say, “Well, guess no homeschool this year.” I knew that the plans I had made this summer, those were no longer going to be feasible. Sometimes it’s just a matter of being able to change the plan and maybe make them simpler so then you feel it actually is achievable. Like, “Okay, this is something we can actually strive for and accomplish,” rather than keeping the expectations too high and constantly feeling frustrated or depressed that you can’t quite make them.

I think setting realistic expectations and then pivoting when life throws those curve balls, that can be so helpful with managing the expectations, managing the time, and all those things. Then the kids are on the same page too, right? They know what to expect and it makes it a little bit easier.

Jennifer: They’re there, they’re witnessing the struggle. They’re getting to learn what’s going on, they’re learning empathy through all of that, and how to cope and get back up and keep moving. Like you said, homeschool days, some of the best homeschool days, the most effective homeschool days are the ones that look the least like school and sometimes the ones that were the least likely to follow your plan. There’s just that surprise learning that happened.

I think with new homeschoolers, especially because they read all the brochures and they look at all of the homeschool curriculum and they may go to convention and they hear all these wonderful stories, which are partly true, but homeschooling is not as pretty as it looks in the brochure. It’s really messy and it’s like, “Did we just do anything? I think we did. I started a discussion, I think we did science.” Then everyone is in and out of the room.

Some things are written down, there was a lot of arguing, but then you hear your kid explain something they’ve learned this week to a relative or a friend or you hear them in a conversation with their friends about something that sounds really adult and you’re like, “Oh, they really were listening to me.” They just become these people that, like you said, you see your teens all of a sudden, it’s like, “Well we really did something. We really learned something.” I think another challenge with homeschooling is to not expect it to be pretty because the learning is in a mess. It really is.

Not that there shouldn’t be an order, but it’s not going to ever be as pretty as you planned in your mind. Sometimes I kid around and joke and say I had it all set up, this unit study was going to be great, it was perfect and then the kids showed up and they made it better.

Amy: Yes. There is no Instagram filter for real life though. Well, Jennifer, we’ve mentioned that you have graduated your oldest son, so congratulations. My oldest graduated last year as well. It’s really exciting. What were maybe some preconceived notions you had as you thought ahead to those high school years? Did things go or maybe not go as planned? I’m always curious asking people too, like if you know what you know now, would there be anything different that you would do in those teen years? Or maybe that would be the same?

Jennifer: Okay, so the first part of that. Going into high school, I guess about eighth grade, there’s like this big chasm where we all think, if I step over into ninth grade, we’ve made a do-or-die decision here. It’s the final choice. We are definitely homeschooling from here on out because there’s always that fear that if you sort of start homeschooling high school, but then you want to put them back in a school, they won’t accept mom’s homemade transcript, right? There was that, “Okay, are we going to homeschool high school?” Which I was going to do it anyway.

It was that notion of, “Okay, this is it. Final, I cannot screw them up.” But I also thought that this had to be super serious and maybe test and lecture-heavy because that’s what we had in high school. It was pump, drill, dump it out on the test and move forward. That’s how you got your grades in high school. I was doing this eclectic, crazy homeschool thing. I wanted to be able to keep the fun stuff and the hands-on, but I knew I had to make a transcript and everything.

Then once we got started, what I really figured out was that a lot of homeschooling high school was providing the resources and snacks, lots of snacks, and using the answer key in self-defense because obviously that’s wrong when we were checking math. Anyway, no, I actually found that high school was easier than homeschooling elementary and middle school. I know some moms may not agree. I loved my kids when they were little as much as I love them now, but it was easier to get them on track because they were more self-starting and motivated.

They knew what they needed to do and they knew how to get it done. They were fun to talk to. It was just great discussions and everything still didn’t have to be written down. I had to pop back in to make sure they knew how to write an essay, that they knew who Jesus and Shakespeare were and the dangers of credit card debt. Other than that, they were really self-sufficient and went with what they knew they needed to get done for their next goal outside of high school and after high school. I was blessed to have twins with motivation and knew what they wanted to do, which also helps.

I know a lot of parents struggle with, and then their teens are struggling with, “I don’t know what I want to do next.” There again, I wanted to make sure they had that base of have-to’s if they want to go to college, that they’re prepared. Also, give them time to go after that interest, to really research what they can do in that interest possibly as a career and spend time tinkering with whatever that interest might be and maybe finding them some mentors in that area or just throwing resources and references that you can find out them.

And just giving them the time to really find out what they’re interested in, who they are, and be just a facilitator more than the teacher at that point. Homeschooling high school actually was more of a relief than what I had built it up in my mind and we really had fun with it. I really had to learn to get out of the way. You really have to like, “I got it, mom. I got it, mom.” I got a lot of that. “I got it, mom. I got it, mom.” At some point, I had to realize, “Okay, they really got it.” You work yourself out of a job, which is bittersweet, you have to–

In high school, it’s more about letting them go and letting them take the lead. Of course, you have to stand around and make sure they’re still moving forward some days, but especially with essay writing, I guess it’s a guy thing. I don’t–

Amy: Did you have a particular way that you helped them have this clear idea of the path they wanted or was that just something that was more their personalities? They had a pretty clear thought early on.

Jennifer: If I did help, I don’t really know how. One of my guys was just always interested in aviation. Homeschooling actually led us to the Civil Air Patrol, which is where he got a lot of his information and started to move up through the ranks there and get some experience with flying and then got a scholarship to get his pilot’s license. I feel like that just, that was all him. He just loved airplanes, but we were there to make sure that we could feed that interest for him without turning it into curriculum. That’s another thing parents need to remember.

You find the interest and there’s this– you’ll want to go run out and buy textbooks and make it a class and all of these things, but sometimes get out of the way. Just let them, if they ask, “I would really like to have this such and such book.” I was always like, “Okay, let me find it for you.” Let them take the lead. Let them teach you. That was another thing. If they were interested in something and I really didn’t know anything, I wasn’t going to pretend. I wasn’t going to go grab a book and read up on it and then pretend I knew more and, “Here, let me make a course on it.”

I let them teach me. The other twin was very interested in computer programming and engineering, and math is not my strong suit, but that kid can do some math and I will not take credit for that. I bought the textbooks. After Algebra 2, I told him, “I can’t do this anymore. I learned algebra for you the first time.” I relearned it, I should say. I went through calculus, obviously, in my college career, but you forget all of that when you don’t use it. After Algebra 2, I said, “We will find the resources to keep you going.”

He is just a math whiz and I can’t take credit for that, except to say I signed him up with the teacher that knew how.

Amy: Many moms of young kids thinking about homeschooling, I hear them with their very, very young children and they’re like, “But what about algebra? What about the transcript? What about lab sciences and all these things?” I think it’s so encouraging to have this reminder, that just because you’re homeschooling through high school, doesn’t mean that you personally are hands-on teaching every single subject necessarily.

There’s so many ways to get the resources, to find, “Oh, someone who’s really excited about calculus. I would love for you to teach that to my kid,” right? You don’t have to personally teach the calculus lessons. Thank goodness.

Jennifer: Yes, and another thing we did with my oldest two is junior, senior year, they did dual credit courses. They actually both got their associate’s degree through a local community college. When they graduated high school, they graduated with their associate’s degree. When they went to, and they went in person, they didn’t do online, they went in-person classes. It also built their confidence at that point. Because I remember there were times where they were, “I’m homeschooled. Are you sure I’m prepared? Are you sure I’m doing what the other kids are doing? Am I going to be able to keep up? I don’t know, this seems too easy.”

I would get some questions like that. We’re going to do dual credit. If you can’t keep up, then we’ll know that mom failed you. It was actually an eye-opening experience for them, in more than academic ways too. There was some negative experience, which they obviously learned a lot from and grew from just being out in the world and away from the homeschool group and crowd that they were used to. I was glad that they were able to experience that before they moved out of our house so we had those discussions.

They found that they were academically prepared and that they were mature and spiritually prepared to handle some of the situations that they were put in during those dual credit years. That was a sticky time, but I think that it helped them grow. Then it tested that whole, they’re going to be weird and awkward homeschoolers out in the world and they were anything, but they were very mature and they handled themselves well. It prepared them before they moved out to college. That was a good thing.

Another surprise about homeschooling high school I found was the ease of application processes to colleges and universities that were excited to meet homeschoolers. I think we only applied maybe to one or two that were fine with homeschoolers but seemed a little reluctant to accept some things. They accepted their transcripts just fine. They had extra hoops, I guess, for homeschoolers to jump through. Generally, all of the application process after high school and getting into college, it’s actually way easier than build it up in my mind or I’d heard from other parents and scary stories and we just really didn’t hit much of that at all.

That was a big surprise after homeschooling high school. You asked me earlier would I do things the same or differently. Things I would do the same, read aloud. I made them listen to me read to them until the month before they graduated, I guess. They were doing finals with dual credit and I gave them a little bit of a break. At that point, I actually was going back and reading picture books with my seniors all year before we would start one of our novels or continue a novel each day. I would bring out their favorites. It’s end of this homeschool time together.

They would laugh and giggle still even though they thought I was being silly. They’re going to remember this. It was just a fun thing we did, but I loved our read-aloud time, and we did book versus the movie party with our read-aloud time. That was one of my favorite things about homeschooling high school, that I would do the same. Also, stacking the first two years of homeschooling high school, freshman and sophomore year, get in a lot of those basic requirements, math, sciences, English, the most important electives because, in the last two years, if they’re doing dual credit, they’re going to be distracted with that.

Then they’re also worrying about making memories with friends they might not see after graduation, and then you have all the big events that are coming up, and application process, so it gets a little bit more complicated, and that roller coaster starts going really fast towards the end, and then you start thinking of all the things you didn’t get to. They definitely stack the first year. I know a lot of people want to homeschool on their own, and I was one of those. We didn’t join a co-op for probably the first five years or so that we homeschooled, and then we tried a co-op, and it was okay.

We liked the people that were there, but we thought the classes were a little bit less academic than we wanted. We ended up finding our people in a homeschool group that offered more of a socialization type of thing, and field trips, prom, yearbook, theater, and things like that, and it was good that they’ve made lifelong friends in that group, so that’s something I would do the same.

Amy: You brought up socialization, the big S word because even after all these years, I was a homeschool graduate, most of us are doing okay. We seem to interact just fine with other human beings most of the time, most days, but we still hear this concern, right? You brought up earlier in the conversation, how are your kids going to operate in the real world. Are they going to turn out really weird? How would you respond to the homeschool critics, or just maybe a genuine concern?

Jennifer: I can’t help but giggle now. I used to be really defensive about it because I had family that thought that we were crazy for going to homeschool, and no one in my family had homeschooled. When I told everyone, “But they’ll be weird and unsocialized,” and today, I laugh because, well, that’s actually the point, and because what does socialization really mean to people?

A lot of the world thinks, well, it means to interact with your peers eight hours a day or more in a room with no one else, and that’s not true socialization, so not to laugh in anyone’s face, but socialization is probably the best perk of homeschooling because they get to interact with the world already. They’re with all ages. Being around adults is probably more important than their peers because aren’t we teaching them to be mature and handle things as adults? People say we’re raising kids.

No, we’re raising adults, and that’s what we hope they get to achieve, and they’re not going to learn that in school, so the socialization argument is really the last effort of homeschool skeptics. It’s the only thing they really have left to hold on to because homeschoolers are outscoring kids and academics all across the country. “Oh, well, they must be weird and unsocialized,” which is actually the point. If you look around the world today and around our country and things that are going on, I don’t know how anyone could say that the homeschoolers are the awkward ones.

Amy: Yes, very true.

Jennifer: As far as operating in the real world, so we homeschool in the real world. I read a post a few weeks ago, I guess, on social media somewhere, and I’m not going to quote it correctly, but someone who thought they were being clever against the school system. This was a public school parent, I guess, that had put this out. It wasn’t a homeschooling post, but they really think there should be more classes offered in high school to teach kids how to cook, how to do laundry, how to do personal finance, automotive repair, real-life skills that why don’t we have textbooks and courses in these things.

I’m thinking, Jennifer, don’t write anything in the comments because I’m like, “Yes, my fingers are itching,” but I’m like, “Should we tell them?” This is homeschooling. This is your job. These things are built into living and learning at the same time. You don’t need a textbook. It doesn’t need to be a written course. There’s just so much real-world learning that if you let them out of the classroom, they’re going to learn it anyway. It doesn’t have to be a syllabus, textbook, and testing. Get your hands in there and cook because everyone needs to eat tonight.

It’s just living and learning, and it just comes so organically and naturally with homeschooling that post just made me laugh, and I did not comment, although I thought I might. That means also that when you decide to homeschool, that a lot of parents that are new, I think, and maybe some that have always been homeschooling, they compartmentalize their kids from these life things like, “Oh, well, I have to get them going on their math so that I can come in here and do the laundry, and I have to plan for dinner, and my husband needs to be here, or my wife needs to be here to watch the kids so that I can go get groceries, and I can go to the bank, and I can go visit Aunt Ruthie or whatever.”

Don’t leave your kids out of these life things. Even though people may roll their eyes when we come into the bank with all of our kids, and they want to see how to fill out the form and look inside the vault behind the counter if they can or whatever, they’re learning from all of that. I think just taking your kids with you, take the dog to the vet, we’re all going in. I remember when they were younger, we would take our dog to the vet, and all of my boys wanted to come in, get around the counter, and see what they were going to do with the dog, and pick their brain with a thousand questions.

Allowing them to be immersed in life and in your daily tasks and learning to do those things is part of being in the real world, which is why socialization in homeschooling is a perk. It’s laughable to say that homeschoolers aren’t socialized and don’t know how to handle themselves in the real world because they’re living it every day.

Amy: Plus, at the bank, you get free lollipops, so there’s another perk.

Jennifer: Yes.

Amy: What encouragement would you give to a mom who’s listening and is starting to think, “Okay, maybe this sounds like something I actually could do, is excited to hear about these perks, the benefits of homeschooling, but maybe it still has that worry. I don’t know if I have what it takes to homeschool.” What encouragement would you say to that new or considering homeschooling mom?

Jennifer: Right away, the fact that you’re thinking about homeschooling means you probably can do it. The fact that it’s come to your attention that you might need to, that you see or there’s something wrong, that you feel like you might should, probably means you can. I know a lot of people say anyone can homeschool and anyone can if they want to. A lot of times, I think that just to say that anyone can homeschool, some people maybe shouldn’t. Not that I don’t wish that for their children, but you have to be in the right frame of mind and you have to want this for your kids.

It has to be your number one job until they are grown and self-sufficient is to raise your kids and teach them how to adult and help them become productive citizens but I think a lot of what holds people back, and I wrote these things down because I don’t want to forget them, is the first thing I think a lot of parents say, “I want to homeschool, but I’m worried about,” and the first thing is what other people will think, maybe their family or their friends. Then, “Are my kids going to miss out on all those things that are in school and the rites of passage like the homecoming dance or pep rallies?”

“What about my free time, my career, and I have to work or me and my husband have to work? What about math?” I feel like those are the big things that stop people from wanting to homeschool. My answer to all of these things collectively is what are you waiting for? Because all of those things combined are not worth as much as your child’s well-being and already you see there’s something wrong and you’re concerned about the way things are going and you feel like you might could do it better.

No one’s ever going to love them as much as you do and you’re going to put their needs ahead of the system, the school system that is. The school system is never going to put your individual child ahead of the system. There’s that. If you want to break each of those things down, the money and the free time, there’s expensive ways to homeschool, super expensive ways, and there’s some affordable ways, but all of them are going to take some sacrifice. You don’t have to sacrifice your kid for the system to do that.

You can work your homeschooling around a job. You can homeschool at night. You can homeschool in the morning. You can homeschool on the weekend. You can take turns. Dad homeschools one week. Mom homeschools the next week. Get grandma involved. It may cause some financial burden, but I feel like sometimes you have to compare that. What is the burden that your kid has to endure every day at school if they’re in a bad situation and you really want to pull them out it, how much money has that worth to you? There’s a lot of juggling. There’s never a perfect answer to make homeschooling fit.

You have to make it fit and work for your family. Then as far as free time, I know everyone says that you’ll never regret time with your kids, instead of time at work. Then there’s the argument. “Well, I’m hearing it now and my kids are driving me crazy and I need a break. I know that I’m going to miss this someday, but I don’t want to hear that now.” Down the road, and it does come, when they do move out, it feels like someone removed both of your arms with twins, I know. I miss them so much. I don’t regret any of that time that we spent together.

Free time is overrated. You really have to start learning to enjoy doing things with your kids because eventually, they’ll be adults and you want them to enjoy doing things with you. Remember that you gave them your time so that you’re still in their, at least, rear view mirror and they come back for the food, at least, right?

Amy: At least.

Jennifer: Then one of the answers to this, worrying about what they’re going to miss, homecoming, prom, the lockers. All the things that go along with school, these rights of passage. Well, first off, in homeschooling, we have a lot of these things now. My kids went to prom for two years and there’s all homeschool groups. They get together and they have a yearbook, and they have game nights, and they have classes. To think that they’re going to be missing out, you’re not going to put them in the closet and hand them a math book, and not let anybody get around them. That’s not homeschooling at all.

There’s just so many opportunities out there that that shouldn’t even be a worry, but you will have to work as a parent to find those things and get out there. Sometimes I think my kids are more socialized than me because I found these things for them and I want to take the art class too. It looks fun. Then you get to meet other homeschool moms and you find your community. Then the last thing, worrying about what other people think. Now that I’ve graduated my two, and I know my family was not all on board with me when I started, and some laughed at me and said, “Promise me you’ll put them back in when you realize you can’t do this.”

I had a need to prove myself, but also, I can say that it’ll be your fault if they fail in homeschooling, and it’ll also be your fault if they fail in the public school system. The public school system doesn’t take the blame for that. It’s the parents. The parents need to be involved, even in school. They need to be involved to see that their kids are learning and getting what they need. Back to why not take them home and ruin them yourself? You’re going to get the blame for it anyway, but if it’s your number one job in life and you know that you want this to succeed, it will.

You’ll make sure that it happens. Not without a lot of worry and a twitchy eye and maybe some wrinkles, but it will happen, and then at the end, when you do graduate them and they do get into college with a scholarship, your greatest skeptics are still not going to acknowledge it. They’ll never say, “Oh, I’m sorry, I was wrong,” and that’s okay because you’re not doing this for them. You’re doing this for your kids and to leave them where God wants them to go. It took me a while. When I got to the high school years, I was in that frame of mind.

I’m not trying to prove myself to anybody anymore. I know we’re doing the right thing. May not be doing it the right way according to someone else’s method, but this is the right thing for our family, and we’re doing the best we can. I already know they’re going to turn out better than they would have I left them to someone else to raise. That’s my answer to that person that says, “Well, I don’t know if I should be homeschooling or not.” You should.

If you think that you want to, then you probably can and you’re going to do it, but you have to get up. Every day, that’s your number one job. Raise those kids the way God wants them to turn out.

Amy: That is such a good encouragement. I know that that will be an encouragement to a mom who is listening to this today. Jennifer, I really enjoyed chatting with you today, but before we go, I want to ask you the questions that I ask all of my guests, and the first is just what are you personally reading lately?

Jennifer: Personally reading. Well, I am personally reading– this is silly. It’s not silly, but maybe silly to some. I’ve never read the Bible all the way through on my own, so to speak, I guess. I bought one of, it’s called The One Year Bible. I don’t know if you’ve heard of it. I’m reading that myself, but I always have like four or five books going at once. I don’t know if that’s a sign of ADD or if it’s just a homeschool mom because I read with my kids and then I have all these things going. I’ve been reading the Narnia series again with my third. He’s in a class called Starting Points which is Biblical Worldview class.

We just finished three of the Narnia books and then we are heading into Frankenstein and Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, but me personally right now, that’s what I’m reading, The One Year Bible, but I’m actually moving a little faster. I’m really trying to beat that 365 days. My personal [unintelligible 00:45:48].

Amy: I actually put Chronicles of Narnia on my 40 before 40 list. Last podcast season, I interviewed Elsie Iudicello. She was telling me how she had created a list of her 40 favorite books that she wanted to reread in that 40th year. Between her 39th and 40th birthday. I just thought this was the greatest idea. I decided to do this myself, but because I have a terrible time picking and limiting myself, I would put an entire series as one title because I didn’t want to have to pick just one of the Narnia books. I was like, “I’ll just read the whole series. That’ll be one thing. It’s fine.” I’m not sure if I’m actually going to get to all of the books on the list, but–

Jennifer: There’s a lot. We read the first three for this class. I have not read them all, but I’ve read them out of order and that’s a big challenge that you’re taking on there. We just read Agatha Christie’s And Then There Were None for spooky read. It was a great book and I read it with my oldest two, and then I read it again with my youngest, and then we did one of our book versus the movie parties, which I’m all into because the book usually wins, but occasionally, the movie is better, but not in that case. Agatha Christie is the queen of mystery. Her books are great.

Amy: She really is.

Jennifer: [unintelligible 00:47:13] on your book bucket list if you don’t have any.

Amy: The Murder of Roger Ackroyd was the one that made my list. Yes, that was the very first Agatha Christie I ever read so I knew I had to limit myself somehow with her plethora of books. I went with the one that was first and beloved to me. The final question for you is, what is your best tip for helping the homeschool day run more smoothly?

Jennifer: Best tip. I wrote a few down, but let me see my best one.

Amy: You can give more than one if you want. We all could use some good tips.

Jennifer: Get up at a decent time. Doesn’t have to be exactly with an alarm every day, but get up at a decent time and get to your list of expectations. Have some self-forgiveness. It doesn’t have to be beautiful but also don’t take too many pity party breaks. Forge your head. Try not to get in a habit of excuses or your children will get in that habit of excuses with you because you only get to raise them once and you have to repeat that to yourself on the hard days. Remember that you’re the adult model, which is a lot to take on, but they’re watching you.

Amy: Sometimes it’s really hard to be a grownup, but if we want our children to grow up and be grownups.

Jennifer: They’re watching us all the time. That’s really that’s what’s tough about it is that I’d be heavy, but I want to be fun and you can be, and you can be both and laugh and learn right along with them, but you’re not getting on the computer until you finish your math.

Amy: Mom, you should probably not get on social media till you’ve done what you’re supposed to do too.

Jennifer: Let’s get out the M&M’s and make this happen.

Amy: Jennifer, this has been a delight to chat with you today. Thank you. Can you please let people know where they can find you all around the internet?

Jennifer: My website is hifalutinhomeschooler.com and from there, you can read my blog posts, which I need to get more in the habit of, but I have my best blog posts tagged there and links to my books, which I’ll show you a picture. You mentioned them earlier. Socialize Like a Homeschooler. This is the last laughter field joke book for even dads, homeschool moms, homeschool dads, and their kids. Something in there for everybody. Then Revolting Writing. Can you see these?

Amy: Yes.

Jennifer: Revolting Writing and then Gross-Out Grammar Books 1 and 2. The whole series– I’m not in the camera, am I? Woo. There you are. Those are for middle school, reluctant writers, or kids that like to laugh their way through language arts. It’s just a lot of fun homeschooling boys. I figured out real quick that writing about what type of tree would you like to be and why is not as fun as it sounds. I came up with a series to get kids excited about writing because when they’re excited about a topic they’re interested in, it makes things a lot more fun and they’re eager to share, and there’s illustrations, it’s full-color workbooks.

Anyway, so those are linked on my website as well. Then you can find all of my fun homeschool memes and pot-stirring posts on Facebook and Instagram. Hifalutin Homeschooler are there as well. Then The Homeschool Solution Show is a podcast that I co-host. I think my episodes come out about once every two months or so. That’s at homeschooling.mom, The Homeschool Solutions Show. I also write for Homeschooling Today Magazine.

The Highfalutin Hints is my section, and I think that can be read online in digital form at homeschoolingtodaymagazine.com, I believe, is their website address. My email address if anybody wants to contact me about anything homeschooling, is hifalutinhomeschooler@gmail.com.

Amy: Fabulous. I will have all those links linked up in the show notes for this episode over at humilityanddoxology.com. If everyone listening can take a moment to subscribe to this podcast where you’re listening, share this episode with a friend that you think would enjoy it, and be encouraged and we will chat again soon.

Jennifer: Thank you for having me.

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