Creatively Homeschooling as a Working Mom

Is it possible to homeschool teens as a working mom without sacrificing creativity or family time? By incorporating hands-on learning experiences and encouraging her daughter’s passions, Jen Gray has found ways to keep her homeschool both engaging and flexible. From interactive science experiments to creative book reports, Jen’s strategies provide inspiration for parents looking to foster a love of learning in older students, all while managing the demands of work and home life.

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Homeschooling Journey: From Skepticism to Success

Jen Gray, a Christian wife, mother, and homeschooling mom to her only child, never planned to homeschool but has found great joy in it. Growing up in a rural area and moving on to a successful career, Jen’s life took an unexpected turn when she met a homeschooling family whose experience sparked her curiosity. Initially skeptical, she couldn’t imagine managing homeschooling along with her job. However, after seeing the benefits firsthand and realizing that her daughter was eager to be homeschooled, Jen and her husband decided to give it a try when their daughter reached third grade. With the support of a homeschooling friend, Jen began her journey, focusing on finding a curriculum that worked for their family. Now, five years later, they’re preparing for high school, and Jen is confident that homeschooling continues to be the right choice—though, ultimately, her daughter will have a say in her educational path as she enters the high school years. This process has not only shaped their educational choices but has also allowed Jen to teach her daughter important decision-making skills, preparing her for future challenges.

The Joy of Homeschooling: Learning, Growth, and Relationships

For Jen Gray, one of the greatest joys of homeschooling has been the opportunity to learn alongside her daughter. A self-professed lover of school, Jen has enjoyed revisiting concepts and facts she may not have fully grasped in the past. Her daughter often humorously points out how much her mom is learning right along with her, particularly in subjects like fifth and sixth grade. But beyond academics, the most rewarding aspect of homeschooling for Jen has been the close relationship she shares with her daughter. Homeschooling provides a front-row seat to her daughter’s growth, allowing Jen to witness and guide her through challenges, including the emotional ups and downs of adolescence. This daily connection fosters open communication and problem-solving, enabling Jen to address any concerns and navigate difficult moments together. For Jen, homeschooling isn’t just about academics—it’s about nurturing a deeper, more meaningful bond with her child.

Homeschooling Challenges and Overcoming Them: Balancing Life and Learning

One of the most significant challenges Jen Gray faced in homeschooling was balancing the demands of work, household responsibilities, and teaching. With various hats to wear, she struggled to separate work life from homeschool life, especially on days when the house wasn’t spotless, or a conference call had to take priority over a science experiment. Jen learned to embrace the reality that perfection isn’t always possible and that some days the dishes simply won’t get done. She also worked to help her daughter understand that just because Jen needed to take a call didn’t mean she was less invested in her daughter’s learning. Over time, Jen’s daughter became more aware of the reasons behind her mom’s priorities and the purposefulness needed to manage homeschooling and work.

Another challenge Jen encountered was her attempt to use educational videos for subjects she felt less confident in teaching. However, she quickly realized that her daughter struggled to learn effectively from videos, finding it difficult to stay engaged. This led to some trial and error in finding alternative ways to outsource lessons while ensuring her daughter could still engage with the material. Jen encourages other homeschooling parents to embrace trial and error as part of the process, emphasizing the beauty of homeschooling in being able to tailor the learning experience to what works best for each child.

Benefits and Challenges of Homeschooling an Only Child

Homeschooling an only child offers some unique advantages and challenges that can sometimes be intertwined. On the positive side, Jen Gray appreciates the ability to provide a tailored education for her daughter. She can choose curriculum that aligns with her daughter’s interests and needs and set a schedule that works around her daughter’s activities, such as volleyball or visits with family. This flexibility allows Jen to focus solely on her daughter’s educational and personal growth, without juggling multiple children’s schedules.

However, homeschooling an only child also presents difficulties, particularly when it comes to socialization. Group projects, which are common in traditional school settings, require extra effort to arrange and coordinate with other families. Finding families who share similar homeschooling philosophies and schedules can be a challenge. Additionally, being the only person to provide educational support means that Jen must always be present and engaged, which can be exhausting, especially as her daughter navigates her teenage years. Despite these challenges, Jen values the closeness and the chance to be fully present with her daughter during these pivotal moments.

Choosing the Right Homeschool Curriculum for Your Child

Jen Gray’s approach to choosing curriculum is grounded in practicality and prioritizing what is most important. For her younger child, she focused on fun, engaging, and kinesthetic learning activities, such as science experiments and hands-on history projects. She avoided materials that were heavy on reading and instead focused on interactive, real-world learning experiences. As her daughter has grown, Jen has learned to budget more carefully, especially when choosing resources that align with her daughter’s interests—U.S. history and science. She has prioritized allocating the family’s homeschooling budget toward subjects where her daughter needs more external support, such as writing, while finding more affordable options for subjects where her daughter excels, like grammar.

Jen emphasizes the importance of budget-consciousness in choosing curriculum. She suggests asking a few key questions when navigating the many available options:

1. What is your budget? This helps set realistic expectations and prevents overspending on curriculum.
2. What are your child’s highest needs? Focusing on areas where your child needs more support allows you to allocate resources effectively.
3. Are there affordable options for less essential subjects? Many curriculum resources are available at lower costs through platforms like Teachers Pay Teachers, libraries, or second-hand book exchanges.

Jen also highlights that it’s okay to not purchase expensive curriculum for every subject. She encourages homeschool parents to focus on what their child is most passionate about and what will truly make an impact, rather than feeling the need to buy every resource. Ultimately, it’s not about the cost of the curriculum, but the time and attention you give it that makes the most difference in your child’s learning experience.

Balancing Work and Homeschooling

Jen Gray knows firsthand that balancing a career with homeschooling can be challenging, but she believes it is possible with the right mindset and strategies. The key, according to Jen, is flexibility in both your schedule and your expectations. When she transitioned from working a typical 8-9 hour day to managing both work and homeschooling, she realized the importance of prioritizing her daughter’s education and their relationship over her career.

Jen’s routine revolves around time blocks to help her manage the demands of both work and homeschool. Her day begins at 7:30 AM with a bit of quiet time to check urgent emails before waking her daughter at 8:30 AM. From 8:30 AM to noon, they focus on homeschooling. After lunch, her daughter handles her own meals and cleanup, while Jen checks in with her work. In the afternoons, Jen flexes between work and finishing up homeschool tasks, depending on what is most pressing. Evenings are reserved for family time, though sometimes Jen needs to do more work or prep for the next day after dinner.

Jen’s biggest piece of advice for other moms juggling work and homeschool is to pray for wisdom in managing their family’s unique needs. She emphasizes that no two families are alike, and there is no one-size-fits-all solution. Another important lesson Jen has learned is that not everything requires immediate attention—sometimes, it’s okay to let voicemails and emails sit for a while. By adjusting expectations and setting clear priorities, homeschooling and working outside the home can both be successful.

Keeping Kinesthetic Learning Fun for Teens

As kids get older, it can be more difficult to maintain the hands-on, kinesthetic learning that comes so naturally in the younger years. But for Jen Gray, keeping learning fun and engaging for her middle schooler has remained a priority. Jen believes that interests are key to maintaining enthusiasm for hands-on learning, and she creatively applies kinesthetic methods across various subjects.

For example, in science, Jen found a curriculum focused on experiments, which kept her daughter engaged. But for subjects like literature and history, she has had to think outside the box. Jen shared an example of how they tackled Casey at the Bat—a poem—by using storyboarding. Instead of a traditional analysis, her daughter created a storyboard to illustrate the key scenes of the poem. Another fun project involved creating a commercial for a country’s major export. For this, her daughter chose mangoes and even organized a photo shoot with the fruit, turning a simple assignment into a creative, hands-on project.

Jen emphasizes that while it’s important to foster creativity in older students, it’s also okay to let them take the lead. In fact, many of the best ideas for projects and learning opportunities came from her daughter’s own interests and suggestions. For instance, when working on a civics project about the electoral college, her daughter went far beyond the basic assignment. She created a detailed presentation, including swing state maps and in-depth research into electoral issues, demonstrating the power of giving students the freedom to explore topics on their own terms.

While Jen admits that not every idea will work out on the first try, she encourages parents to remain flexible and open to their child’s creativity. Hands-on learning doesn’t always have to be a formal part of the curriculum—it’s about fostering an environment where students are encouraged to explore and learn in ways that engage their senses and imaginations. Jen’s approach to middle school homeschooling shows that with a little creativity and a focus on their interests, learning can remain fun and hands-on throughout the teen years.

Balancing work, family life, and homeschooling doesn’t mean sacrificing creativity or meaningful learning experiences. Jen Gray’s approach demonstrates that with a focus on hands-on activities and personalized learning, it’s possible to engage older students in ways that spark their interests and creativity. By staying flexible with your schedule, adapting to your child’s needs, and embracing the unexpected moments, you can create a homeschool environment that is both productive and enjoyable. Whether it’s through interactive projects, creative assignments, or hands-on learning, the key is to make education fun and relevant—no matter the age or family circumstances.

Key Takeaways

• Homeschooling Priorities: Jen Gray emphasizes the importance of prioritizing homeschool as a calling, and encourages moms to trust God during difficult times, maintaining a focus on what truly matters: their relationship with their children and their education.
• Flexibility in Homeschooling: Homeschooling doesn’t have to follow a strict, rigid structure. Jen shares how her approach is flexible, using resources like books, online learning, and other creative means to maintain balance while meeting the educational needs of her daughter.
• Adjusting Expectations: When working and homeschooling, Jen learned to adjust her expectations and prioritize what’s most important. She acknowledges that it’s okay to have imperfect moments, like frozen pizza for dinner, as long as homeschooling remains the priority.
• Kinesthetic Learning for Teens: Jen continues to prioritize hands-on learning even for older children. She uses activities like storyboards, creating commercials, and presentations to keep learning engaging, despite the challenges of teaching more abstract subjects.
• Creative Learning Ideas: Jen’s creativity shines in how she adapts assignments to her daughter’s interests. From creating book trailers to reenacting historical figures or even designing brochures, Jen encourages her daughter to explore learning through non-traditional means.
• The Power of Interest-Based Learning: Jen highlights how letting her daughter’s interests guide their learning—like science experiments, geography projects, or history presentations—has proven to be a successful way to maintain enthusiasm for learning.
• Prioritizing Family and Self-Care: Jen advises other moms to prioritize self-care and balance their homeschooling with family time. She encourages taking breaks, setting boundaries, and making sure work doesn’t take over family relationships.
• Work-Life Balance as a Homeschool Mom: Managing a full-time career and homeschooling requires careful planning and scheduling. Jen segments her day into clear chunks: mornings for homeschooling, afternoons for work, and evenings for family time, while leaving room for flexibility.
• Encouraging Independence: As her daughter gets older, Jen encourages more independence in learning and daily tasks, like making lunch and doing research for projects. This helps balance the demands of work while fostering responsibility in her daughter.
• Faith and Prayer in the Process: Throughout the conversation, Jen emphasizes the importance of prayer and asking God for wisdom in managing both homeschooling and work. She leans on faith to guide her decisions, especially when balancing competing priorities.

Listen to the full podcast episode “Creatively Homeschooling as a Working Mom with Jen Gray” on  Homeschool Conversations with Humility and Doxology

Jen Gray is a Christian wife, mother, daughter, and coffee lover who didn’t plan to, but absolutely loves, homeschooling her only child. Her days are spent working, homeschooling, and watching volleyball. She loves making lists, building relationships through her YouTube channel Homeschool with Jen, hanging out with her family and friends, and looking at homeschool curriculum.

Find Jen Gray Online

• YouTube
• Instagram

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Check out all the other interviews in my Homeschool Conversations series!

Amy Sloan: Hello friends, today I am joined by my friend Jen Gray. She is a Christian wife, mother, and coffee lover who didn’t plan to but absolutely loves homeschooling her only child. Jen’s days are spent working, homeschooling, and watching volleyball. She loves making lists, building relationships through her YouTube channel, Homeschool with Jen, hanging out with her family and friends, and looking at homeschool curriculum. And Jen and I have gotten to know each other a little bit over the past year, and I’m just really delighted to have this chance to chat with you today.

Jen Gray: Thank you. I’m so excited to be here, Amy. I really appreciate it.

Amy Sloan: Well, Jen, here at the beginning, I would love to hear you tell a little bit about yourself, your family, and how you guys got started homeschooling.

Jen Gray: Sure, absolutely. So I am the youngest of two, I have an older brother, and we grew up in an extremely rural area. I wanted to get out of the rural area and spread my wings, and so I went to college and then I majored in politics and minored in math, and decided to go on to grad school, where I majored in communications there. And then I was going to conquer the world. And so I moved up outside of New York, and I lived there for a decade. And I didn’t conquer the world, but I actually did pretty good in my career. And then when I was getting ready to 30, gosh, I’m not married. So I decided, I need to, like, God, what am I supposed to do here, because, you know, in my grand plan of life, I was supposed to already be married by 30. And ironically enough, I moved back to the town that I grew up in that I wanted to get out of so badly. And I married somebody who I went to high school with, who we never dated or anything like that. And so we got married very quickly, we knew each other, we knew each other’s families. And then I had my daughter a few years later, she is now a teenager, and an only child. I do have a job outside of the home, which God has been amazing in letting my job be flexible enough that I am able to homeschool while I work. And I just, I’m having fun living the life that God gave me, that is not the life that I thought I would be living.

Amy Sloan: I love that. That is such a great adventure. I was like, wow, you lived your very own Hallmark movie.

Jen Gray: I did. I really did.

Amy Sloan: So how did then you hear about homeschooling, or how did that kind of come on your radar?

Jen Gray: So my daughter was in soccer, and one of the other kids in the soccer team, his parents, my husband actually knew the man, right? And so I met the mother, and they had a girl who was just a couple of years older than my daughter, but they were military. And so they had been homeschooling from the very beginning. And they taught me, told me about homeschooling. And I’m like, you know, I don’t really think so, you know, like, that’s just it’s too much. I don’t think that I could do it. You know, I have these other responsibilities. There’s just no way that I could do that. What kind of curriculum would I use? And so they were really amazing in showing me the benefits of homeschooling. And my daughter, since she had this friend who was homeschooled, she’s like, I want to be homeschooled. I want to be homeschooled. I want to be homeschooled. Like, no way. There’s no way. And there were some things that were going on. My husband and I were like, there’s got to be a change. It’s like, we have to have a change. We need to figure out what it’s going to be. We have a little bit of time to figure it out, but we know that there’s going to be a need to be a change. And so then when my daughter was in third grade, we’re like, let’s try this homeschool thing. Let’s see whether we can do it. And my girlfriend, who, you know, was my daughter’s best friend’s mom, was amazing in helping me. And she was also amazing in telling me, don’t try to research everything. There’s too much information out there. You’ll get way overwhelmed. If you find something that you like, then, you know, try that out for a little while. And so she was really good in basically pulling me back because I wanted to make sure that I had the perfect curriculum, the perfect day for my daughter since we were trying this new thing. And obviously, you know, as you know, Amy, the perfect day doesn’t exist, right? The perfect curriculum doesn’t exist. And so my friend was really helpful in doing that. And so we are now five years, I think, into homeschooling and it’s worked out really well. We’re getting ready to enter that ninth grade high school year next year. And I get the question quite a bit, are you going to homeschool through high school? Are you going to homeschool through high school? And if it was up to me, my answer would 100% be yes, right? I think that there’s just so many opportunities with homeschool that I think would be great. But my daughter’s getting older. And so she has to really be the one to decide what she wants to do. That’s the philosophy that my husband and I have really set out because for, you know, your choices have consequences. And so if she chooses that she wants to go to a brick and mortar high school, then that’s something that she has to weigh the pluses and minuses. But honestly, I think she’s going to pick homeschool. She really likes it. But that is, you know, it’s she has to learn how to make these decisions because if she wants, you know, she has to decide, is she going to go to college? And if she is, where is she going to go? And so all of these decisions are decisions she needs to learn how to make. And I think learning to make these baby step decisions while she’s in our house and we can give her our opinions is a much better way than just pushing her out with and say, OK, now you have to make all these major decisions on your own.

Amy Sloan: So many good gems in there. I love first like a little bit ago you were breaking up the point of like, you can’t try to find the perfect curriculum. I think that can stymie not only beginning homeschoolers, but even veteran homeschoolers. There’s this sense of like, well, this this curriculum has been working just fine. But like you start getting the catalogs, you start seeing the Instagram reels and you’re like, oh, pretty new shiny curriculum. Maybe I should switch everything. And I just like to encourage homeschool moms that the thing you do faithfully, even if it’s an imperfect curriculum and it’s simple, but if you do it faithfully every day and you do it with joy and you do it with good relationships, that is so much more important than like constantly trying to, well, if I just find the perfect curriculum, we will never cry over math. Like, that’s just not true. That’s just not true. No. So, yeah, I love that. Like you can’t you have to at some point you just pick something, pick the imperfect thing and go with it. And the Lord is faithful even even in there. And I also love how you are teaching and training and discipling your daughter in making decisions and thinking through consequences. And, you know, we have not given some of those same choices to our children, but we found other ways to give choices to our teens, opportunities to fail. It’s so good for them to experience some of those consequences while they’re young, while they’re still at your home, while they still have you there to help them. And I think that’s really, really valuable. I will just say I’ve I’ve loved homeschooling my teens and I think homeschooling high school is awesome.

Jen Gray: So that’s wonderful. And it’s up to me. I would. But I really want her buy in. And I really I mean, I’m pretty sure that we have it. And one of the reasons that I’m pretty sure we have it is because you mentioned volleyball. I do love volleyball, which I have just been exposed to for three years now because my daughter got interested in it. And she plays where the state that we live in. She’s allowed to play on school teams as long as we fulfill the different laws that are around it. But then she also plays on club teams. Well, I laid it out, if you go to a school where you have to be up and you’re out the door before, you know, by six o’clock to be able to go have the you don’t get out until three thirty where we live remotely. Sometimes you’re not going to make it to the practices for your club teams. You’re not going to have that. And so if you want to keep doing the volleyball that you’re doing, then you’re pretty much going to have to be homeschooled because there’s no other option.

Amy Sloan: Yeah, I mean, that’s what the Olympians do. Right. Well, so many of these things that have already come up are pointing to the benefits and the joys of homeschooling. But are there any other things that have just been favorite parts of homeschooling in your experience so far?

Jen Gray: Well, the things that I learned, it’s funny because I love learning. I’ve always been a very studious person, so I love school. And I didn’t realize that people didn’t like school until my husband and my daughter have informed me that people didn’t like school. I was like, really? What’s wrong with them? Right? So I love going back and re, I don’t want to say relearning because I’m not quite sure I learned it in the first place. I may have known it, known different facts or different concepts or something. But me relearning things, it’s funny because my daughter would tell people, mommy’s learning a lot in fifth grade. Mommy is learning a lot in sixth grade, you know, and so that has been one thing. But relationship wise, watching my daughter grow and watching, being able to have that front row seat in the decisions that she makes, in how she learns and in knowing when she’s having a bad day, being a safe space, especially when you’re younger, because, you know, when you’re a teenager, there are some hormones going on and you have to learn how to recognize that those are hormones and then how to address them within yourself. And watching her go through this on a daily basis where she can’t really run and hide from me. It’s not like she can get on a bus and go and be mad at her mom and then go someplace else. She’s stuck in the house with me where, you know, sometimes it’s just good for us to be able to have those conversations. OK, I get that you are upset with me today. Can you explain why you’re upset today? Let’s talk about what happened. Did something in particular that I say or that I said or that I did or the way that I reacted, you know, is there something that set you off? And sometimes, yes, but there’s a lot of times, no. So so then being able to say, OK, well, let’s how are we going to address this now? Because honestly, going to me is not acceptable.

Amy Sloan: That’s not an answer.

Jen Gray: Right. Exactly. So so just learning, learning more about her and being able to have that front row seat with her is has got to be my favorite thing about homeschooling is that relationship.

Amy Sloan: But then secondarily, I get to learn a lot of stuff and be a nerd for the nerd, right? I love it. I sometimes joke that I’m like brainwashing all of my children into being nerds.

Jen Gray: That would be wonderful. I’m like, you know, it’s it’s not a bad thing to be a nerd. I know that nerds get a bad rap, but, you know, it’s not a bad thing.

Amy Sloan: I think we have more fun. Honestly, we get all the good jokes, right? Well, these are all such wonderful parts of homeschooling, but I know that homeschooling can come with challenges as well. We even kind of mentioned touched on them a little in the midst of the good things, like the relationships are wonderful. And also it’s hard because we’re like with these people all the time. So what have been some of the challenges you have faced homeschooling and are there ways you found to overcome those challenges?

Jen Gray: So one of the one of the biggest things that has been a challenge for me is being able to separate work life from homeschool life, from other responsibility life, right? So there’s there’s all these hats that any anybody wears. But, you know, when you have a dirty house and you have a conference call and you have a conference call and, oh, yeah, we have science experiments we need to do today, like learning to be able to say, I don’t have to have the cleanest house. Like there’s going to be some days where the dishes just aren’t getting done. And fortunately, I do have a husband that recognizes that and understands it and isn’t on me for the dishes not being done. But being able to also have my daughter understand that just because I have to take a conference call does not mean I’m any less interested in her. I’m any less interested in what she is learning or her thoughts on something. But, you know, this is my job and we will we will come back to whatever we’re learning. And that when that was really the hardest time was when I was trying to get her to work more independently, because if we were at a stage where I thought she should be able to just continue with whatever we were doing, if I wasn’t sitting right there with her paying attention to her, then she just stopped. And that was really very difficult for me because I’m like, don’t you want to know what’s next? Don’t you want to learn this? And she did want to learn it, but she just wanted to learn it with me. She wanted me to be right there with her. And then she so we have different things right now that I have learned. You know, first of all, I really try to do homeschool in the mornings and wait and have work in the afternoons. Now, that’s you know, that’s my perfect schedule. But that, you know, life isn’t perfect. And there are certain people that if they call me, I just have to take the phone call. That is just life. And as she’s gotten older, she really has started to understand that more of the priorities and the reasons that I do the things I do versus just willy nilly. There’s no reason she has started to understand that more. But getting her to get to that point was a very difficult journey.

Amy Sloan: Yeah, I think that’s really helpful, though. I know that there are, I think, ever-increasing numbers of parents who are combining work, either part-time or full-time, with homeschooling. And I think it’s just really encouraging to hear that it is possible, but also it requires purposefulness. You can’t just wake up in the morning and just sort of like have all these priorities and throw them up in the air and be like, let’s see what falls on my head first. Right? Like, we have to plan. And our children need to understand priorities, and they need to understand that they are a priority. Because obviously, if we’re homeschooling, we better be actually educating our kids, right? Right. I even have told my kids, look, if mom’s podcast or all this stuff I do, if you ever start thinking, wow, mom, you talk a lot about homeschooling, but you’re not doing a very good job homeschooling, I was like, that’s the time I quit because I refused to have a platform about homeschooling and not homeschool my own kids. But it doesn’t just happen because it’s hard and there’s always more things. And I just think hearing your perspective, like, all right, let’s be purposeful. Let’s set certain times of day for certain things or, you know, just communicating with your daughter about it. That’s really great.

Jen Gray: So I do have a second thing that was very difficult is I wanted to do videos for different curriculum for her, things that I didn’t think that I was really strong enough in to teach her. I wanted to get videos for those. And she put the kibosh on that, like as fast as it started. And I definitely realized that she is someone who, her attention span and her focus, when it’s a video, she cannot just sit there and watch it and learn from it. And I should have kind of known this because when I was in school in my eighth grade, eighth grade year, I had to take biology and Spanish via a video. And so this was the older days where you had your VHS tape and they just put them in and it was a video of a teacher teaching it, I don’t know, like three years before in a classroom. And so you were just sitting there watching this. And to this day, biology and Spanish are my two least favorite subjects. So, but that, fortunately, we did have the communication where she was able to say, look, I don’t like this. Like, I don’t like this. And so we came up with other options of ways that I could still outsource something that I didn’t think that I was strong in, but she was learning with that. And so that was, that was a lot of trial and error to try to figure out how to get, as she got older and the subjects got more intense than things that I could not just say, hey, one plus one equals two. Let’s count jelly beans, you know, like, let’s do that, but truly had to understand more concepts. That was definitely one of the things that we had to really do some trial and error to figure it out. And I want to encourage people that it’s OK to do trial and error. Like that is something that is OK, because one of the beauties of homeschool is being able to find what works for your child and then really delve into that rather than trying to have a one size fits all approach.

Amy Sloan: For sure. Well, you know, as you’ve been talking, obviously you have one daughter that you’ve been homeschooling. And so I would love to kind of hear from your perspective some of the benefits and maybe some of the difficulties that come with homeschooling an only child.

Jen Gray: Oh, absolutely. So this is one of the questions that I actually get the most. And it’s it’s funny because sometimes the benefits and the detriments are almost the same thing. Right. So it’s like parenting. Right. So I can be have that front row seat and I can be the person who gets to experience all of these things with her and gets to learn right alongside with her. But I’m the person that’s learning right alongside with her and I’m the person who has to be right there with her. Right. So that is definitely one thing. Anything that is a group project, you know, anything that I could be able to say, hey, you know. Let’s do this as a group. I always have to go outside of our family, which means then finding people who are available, making sure that the that people’s schedules line up and that they’re interested in doing it, too. And so that is something that was pretty difficult for me at the beginning is to learn who had some of the same philosophies that I did in the homeschool world around me. Now, the other thing is, you know, I mentioned that as she is a teenager, you know, we’re learning on dealing with each other. And that is something that sometimes. You’re the only person that’s there. Right. You are the only person. And so if she decides that she wants something or wants to talk or when, you know, I need to. At this stage of her life, I really do drop almost everything because I’m like, when’s the last time? When’s the last time that I’m going to have this and I don’t have another kid coming along and this is the last time that I’m going to do this. So. So, yeah. So it’s it’s very good. You know, one of my major benefits is that I can choose curriculum that works for her, choose what she’s interested in, choose what would be most beneficial for us. I can do the schedule around her and her alone. So if she has volleyball, then we can schedule like right now she is doing something with my mother-in-law. And so I can just schedule my day around what is going on with her. And so that is a benefit in that I can really figure out time wise. I know what my time wise is and I can if she is at something, then we won’t do school. But if she’s not, then we will. Whereas somebody who has multiple kids, you’re doing multiple schedules and you’re really trying to figure out all kinds of different things. And I don’t have that. So I get to really focus on her schedule and my schedule. And that does make it a lot easier.

Amy Sloan: Yeah, sometimes I say my life is like a Jenga tower. OK, pull this, balance this, don’t let it all fall down. Well, what are some of the ways that you go about choosing the best or the right curriculum for your family and then extrapolating from that? Do you have any questions you think that are helpful for any homeschool parent to ask? As we mentioned, there’s so many options. Looking at curriculum can get overwhelming. How do we go about asking the right questions and making those curriculum decisions?

Jen Gray: So for the younger ages, it was very much what was what would she consider fun? Like what was fun? And so fun for my daughter is is pretty much anything kinesthetic. So for the younger ages, we stayed away from some from things that were heavy on just reading. And we were all about science experiments, going outside and counting everything, measuring anything that we could find, you know. And then for history, she loves American history. And so we were watching movies, finding documentaries and really focusing in on what I can make kinesthetic for her. Now, the problem with that, as you know, kinesthetic can get expensive. So I had to really learn to budget better for homeschooling versus just being able to say, oh, this looks like fun. Let’s buy this or all these things. Now, as she has gotten a little bit older, budgeting is a major priority for me. And then from there, I can say, what are we going to focus this budget on? So, for example, my daughter is very much into U.S. history and science. Those are her two favorite things right now. And I very much am not a writing teacher. So basically those were the three areas that I said, I’m going to have to spend our most money on these three areas because this is really what she’s focused on and what I want to have somebody else teach her, because writing is such a personal thing with my daughter that even if I said, oh, did you think about maybe using a different word? It was almost like a personal attack for her. And so I needed somebody else that was not her mother to be able to review what she was writing. And we have found a writing program that is called Kids Write Novels. And so it’s an online program. She has class an hour and a half each week and she is actually writing a book. And so this girl who had considered a reluctant writer for the past three years is so excited about writing a book. And she is working on this harder than any other writing program that she’s had. And she’s in eighth grade. So any other writing program she’s ever had. And so that was one thing. So the budget went there. And then we also found a science curriculum that was very heavy in experiments because she is a kinesthetic kid. She learns through experiments. And so I wanted to have the budget there. And then we have history. And so we are in the middle of world history, which she says is not nearly as much fun as American history. And I said, well, you know, America is part of the world. There will come a time where you get to do more American history when we get to there, which we’re almost there. But since it was world history and I wanted to really kind of see how she liked world history because she had never done it, I found some history projects where she could focus on that. And it’s Take Time for Art is one of the and so it is a little bit expensive because you need to have the you have to pay every month to be able to have the videos for it. And so we focused on that because it is Take Time for Art. It’s very hands on with that. And then I said, OK, now that’s where the bulk of my budget is going. What are we going to do next? Well, she has an amazing English background and so she does great with grammar. So I said, well, let’s find out if we can find a less expensive grammar curriculum and a less expensive spelling curriculum, a less expensive things that either already think that she has a very good foundation on or something that she’s really just not interested in. So we did that. And then for literature, we’re doing a lot of just reading. And that is something that has worked out great. And, you know, between libraries and thrift books and friends who have books and things like that, you don’t really spend a lot of money on that. And so when if I put if I kind of wrapped it all together, I would say, number one, look at your budget. Number two, figure out what you actually what are your highest needs between for your family and for your kids. And then number three, look for less expensive curriculum options because there are tons between teachers pay teachers and different areas. And so then use that for those less expensive options.

Amy Sloan: I love that. And I would also follow up. I can’t remember. I’m trying. I was sitting here trying to remember who said this. I think it was Cindy Rollins. It may have been someone else. But she made the point that, like, if God has called you to homeschool and he doesn’t, you know, there’s something that’s outside of your budget, that’s OK. Like you can still educate your children, even if you can’t afford the big, fancy thing your friend or the person on the Internet is able to afford. That doesn’t mean that thing isn’t good or great for those other people. But if you can’t afford it, you don’t have to feel like, oh, no, I’m letting my kid down. I can’t provide them an amazing education. Your kid is going to be fine. Again, it goes back to that. The thing you actually do faithfully, even if it’s simple or less expensive, like stay in your budget. I love that you started with the budget because I think that a lot of times that doesn’t come up. Like, we just sort of talk about these, like, glorious ideas, like as if we have millions of dollars to spend on the curriculum. Like most of us do not. If that is your life, I am very happy for you. For most of us, that is not our life. And it’s OK to bring our budget into the discussion. In fact, that’s very wise and important. That is part of the curriculum, right? Our kids learning that there are limits and having to make those prioritization decisions, like actually is probably good for them and us.

Jen Gray: And to be honest, if you bought the big curriculum for every subject, you’re not going to have time to do it. There is just no way that you could get everything done from that big curriculum for every subject. And so that’s one of the reasons that I really do want to focus on the subjects that she likes. And so, for example, for science, we are finishers. We finish the science curriculum every year. Because that is something that she is very interested in. And so we make that a priority. And I also am glad that I make that a priority because I didn’t spend money on it.

Amy Sloan: Well, I guess that would be an example, going along with the question I wanted to ask you next, because I know you’ve prioritized bringing in the fun, bringing in the kinesthetic learning, these hands-on things. And I think it’s really easy to think of ways to do that in the elementary years. It just comes so naturally. But it can sometimes feel a little harder as our kids get older. But I know you have continued this as a priority in your homeschool. So what are some ways to kind of maintain that fun, that hands-on with older teens?

Jen Gray: Well, interests are really a big thing, right? So the science is one I searched out as a science curriculum that was heavy on experiments. But then if I look at other subjects, that doesn’t really make that much sense to be hands-on. Because you can always say like math, science, those are such easy hands-on subjects. But if you look at things more like poetry and some literature or even sometimes history, it doesn’t always make as much sense for it to be hands-on. So I’ll give you some ideas of what we did. And this is really more trial and error. You know, I don’t necessarily know. Yes, sometimes it’s trial and error and sometimes it is just God telling you like as you’re talking about something, hey, why don’t you try this? And so that has happened much more than one time in our homeschool, where I sat down and we were talking about something and I wasn’t even planning on asking her to do something that was kinesthetic. And then I did and she ran with it and it was amazing. And so that is all God. So to have that listening ear is definitely important. But what we did for the Casey at the Bat. So Casey at the Bat is a poem, right? And so I used to work in advertising. Well, in advertising, we do storyboards. And so you have pictures that just show what you’re going to focus on first and then second and then third. And so we were reading Casey at the Bat and I had pulled up a video because, you know, you can find videos of it. And I was like, OK, Ellie, what do you want to do? What would be a good thing for you to do for this? And she’s like, I don’t want to memorize it, mom. You don’t have to memorize it, I said, why don’t you do a storyboard? And so that was something that just came literally at that moment when I was asking her what she wanted to do, what was she interested in? And she loved it. And so she did the whole picture for that. And then when we were doing a different world geography, I had her do a commercial for the food that was a major export from one of the countries. And when I first assigned that, I didn’t know whether she’d like it or not. And I didn’t know if it was one of those things that I was going to get like, you know, like just basically a photo taken and like something written on the bottom of it. And I came, so she said that we needed to go buy mangoes. And so we did. We went and bought mangoes. And I was upstairs doing work and I came downstairs and all of a sudden she had an entire photo shoot going on with these mangoes. And so, so just coming up with things that aren’t necessarily in a curriculum, but it’s something more than just reading about something. So some of my go-to’s are really a presentation. She used to love the trifolds, but now that she’s gotten a little bit older and she has more freedom with the computer, she is all about doing PowerPoint presentations. And I, that has been amazing because she absolutely loves it. And I think presenting is a major thing that people, most people need to learn how to present. It’s not something that comes naturally for a lot of people. And so that’s something that she has really jumped into with both feet for the election. We did civics. And so her final presentation for the civics class was a presentation was all about the electoral college. And so she had to come up with the maps of the like, what were your swing states? What were your, what were your red states, blue states? And she took that presentation so much further than what I had thought she was going to. She actually started looking into why were these places swing states? When did they become swing states? What were their major, who was running when they became swing states? What are their major issues? How did Harris and Trump view their philosophies, their views, their stances on those different things? And then she came up with what how she thought the election was going to go. But that was that was fun. And then she’s done brochure. She did brochure for England. She did a brochure for castles in Ireland. Sign me up, sign me up, I’m there. So, yeah, so it’s basically we try to come up with things that are her interest. And I would love to say that I was smart enough and creative enough to come up with the different things that she’s done. But I really give the credit to God because there are so many times where the ideas just come literally while we are talking, while we are talking about whatever subject it is. So it’s a lot of fun and she definitely stays busy with it. And she is one of those kids that she can she can tell me she can tell me so much more than I can once she’s had her hands on something. So I always try to go kinesthetic when I can.

Amy Sloan: I think it’s really encouraging just to hear that you didn’t have you know, you weren’t sitting there in July writing out the 12 projects you want to do necessarily every year. You might have some ideas or maybe this would be something we could do something about. But it doesn’t have to be quite so formal. I think sometimes I don’t give my my own self or my homeschool credit. I’m like, well, we’re not really big, like, you know, hands on people. We’re just, you know, we read a lot of books. But then I’m like thinking, like, well, wait a minute. Like my daughter recreated an entire historical costume from a portrait of her great, great grandmother. You know, my other kid did a project where he, like, recreated the different types of castles in Minecraft. Like, I’m like, oh, I think we actually do stuff. I just don’t think about it because they are not always parent directed or super formal things. I think if you give space in the day and space in the schedule, you have to leave the space. There has to be time and there has to be energy. But if you leave that in there and you encourage creative kids, you encourage kids who want to, like, explore and take things to the next level, and then you give them kind of open ended opportunities, I think that a lot of times they will surprise you just where they’ll take it.

Jen Gray: Absolutely. See, we did book we we do book reports in a variety of different ways and we don’t do book reports for every book, but we do them in a variety of different ways. And one day I said, OK, like, you need to do a book report for this book. You know, you haven’t done a book report in a while. Let’s let’s do a book report and ask her, what do you want to do? And she goes, well, I don’t want to write one. I said, OK, you don’t have to write one. I’m not telling you you have to write one. And so she said, I want to make a trailer of a movie for this book. And I said, OK, like you, you go. And the next thing I know, she had found my daughter’s got dark hair and she had found a blonde wig from an old costume that we had had when she was little. And she has her iPad set up videoing her in this blonde wig while she’s acting out some major scenes within the book. And that was something that was totally on her. Now, I say that and I want to encourage the first time that you say, what do you want to do? You’re probably not going to get that right. I said, I don’t write anything. Exactly. And so it’s good to have a few ideas. OK, you don’t want to do a book report. You don’t want to do a written book report. What can we talk about? What can you do? You can come up with an alternate ending to the book. You can come up with a poster for a movie. You can come up with some, you know, like different things that you can have to talk about and then get those juices flowing. And eventually, maybe the maybe the third time, maybe the 10th time that you say, OK, what do you want to do for your book report? That may be the time that you get, hey, I want to do a trailer for the movie because it definitely wasn’t the first time that I said, what do you want to do?

Amy Sloan: Yeah, it’s totally normal if your kid, it doesn’t want to do anything. That is also normal. Push through that. Keep giving the opportunities. It’s OK. Well, Jen, I also wanted to just ask you, I know you mentioned this near the beginning. Part of your life is you’re a homeschool mom and you also work outside the home as well. So how do you manage to be successful working and homeschooling? You mentioned earlier some of that prioritization and the timing. But just here before we close, I’d love for any advice or tips you have for other moms in your same situation.

Jen Gray: So it’s hard and it really it’s it’s hard, but not impossible. And I think that that was one of the things that I needed to understand is it it can be hard, but not impossible. And so I had to go from having an eight, nine hour work day where, you know, my daughter was at school and I could, you know, really focus on work while she was at school to making adjustments. And that’s making adjustments in the schedule, but it’s also making adjustments in my expectations. So what can I realistically do and what can I not realistically do? Because, you know, there are times where, you know, we have frozen pizza for dinner. I mean, that’s just the way life goes. And I think that not being too hard on myself was one of the biggest things that I had to learn is that what are my priorities? So homeschool had to be my priority. It was to me, my daughter’s education and our relationship was more important than my job. And so that was something that I in my in my career, I had never had something that competed so much for my time as homeschooling did. And I had to really say, OK, what are my priorities? God, homeschooling is I’m called to homeschool. So, God, I need you to help me out here. So that’s really where I, you know, we get up our schedule very loosely. My schedule is I get up about seven thirty. I get Ellie up about eight thirty from seven thirty to eight thirty. I have coffee and I check my email. So is there anything that I have I absolutely have to reply to? If it is not something I absolutely have to reply to, then I don’t. And learning to not do that immediately was hard for me because I’ve noticed that if I reply to that, then I’m not getting her up at eight thirty. And so then we’re getting behind. And then for the things that I have planned for the afternoon, we’re not going to get school done. And so then you have to question what what are your priorities again here? And so then from eight thirty to about twelve o’clock, we homeschool. And so then she has lunch on her own. She’s responsible for making her own lunch, for cleaning up the dishes, all the things she does that on her own. And I, again, check my emails. Is there anything that needs to be needs to be addressed immediately? And then in the afternoons, it is very much a free for all. And because there’s one day that where I could be taking her to volleyball lessons. But I know that ahead of time and I can schedule it. There’s another day that I’m going to have conference calls the whole time. So I know that ahead and I can schedule it. There’s another day where, you know, we got we didn’t get everything done in homeschool that we needed to. And so I now need to take another hour and do homeschool before I can get to work. And then but most of the time, the afternoons are focused on work and then the evenings are family time. And then there are definitely times where family time is over and I have to go back to work or I have to prepare for homeschool for the next day. And so it’s just one of those things. I would say my tip would be pray. For what is the best thing for your family, because, you know, as no marriage is the same as no family is the same, there’s no homeschool the same. There is no situation where homeschool and working mom where it’s going to be the same as you move from one to another. So pray for wisdom from God. I love in James where he says that if you pray for wisdom, you ask him for wisdom and he’ll give it to you liberally. And there have been many times where I’ve said, God, I need some liberal wisdom here. I need a lot, a lot of it, all the wisdom. And and then, you know, as we discussed, have priorities. And so I went a little bit into detail on that. But if you look at it, 730, 830, my time, 830 to noon, homeschool, noon to one, my time, one to five is work and then family time and then sometimes more work. So so those chunks have helped me out being able to do the chunks and being able to not always answer this. But that’s something else that I had to learn. It’s OK for people to leave voicemails. That was something else that I really had to learn.

Amy Sloan: Yeah, it’s OK. And I think most things are not emergencies.

Jen Gray: Exactly.

Amy Sloan: Jen, this has been such a great conversation. I know it’s going to be an encouragement to many homeschool moms. But before we wrap up, I want to ask you the two questions I ask all my guests. So the first is just what are you personally reading lately?

Jen Gray: I knew this one was coming, so I brought it. I’m reading The War on Christmas. So we are reading that. And then we just finished, as a read aloud, Gordon Korman. I love Gordon Korman from middle school. This Gordon Korman was a great find because he’s fun, it’s easy to read, and he always packs a punch with some moral philosophies and things to do. So I like that. And then the last one, this one’s a little bit young for my daughter, but I decided to do it because she loves historical fiction. I’m reading Snow Treasure. But as far as me, The War on Christmas, I would love to have time to read more for me.

Amy Sloan: But we’d have to find another block of time in there. There’s somehow only 24 hours in the day. I keep trying to press that out, but it stays 24. I don’t know what to tell you. Jen, final question is, what would be your best tip for turning around a homeschool day that seems to be going all wrong?

Jen Gray: Dance parties?

Amy Sloan: OK, literally today. Today. It wasn’t even that like the day was going all wrong. We were just kind of like a little grumpy. I was like, OK, guys, we’re turning on the cha-cha slide. Everybody come in the living room. We are dancing it out right now.

Jen Gray: Dance parties, get up, move around, jump around, have some music. Dance parties have been absolutely amazing for our homeschool. And even with a teenager who would be mortified that I said that she actually likes them, she really does like them.

Amy Sloan: Do you guys ever do the church clap? Oh, she does.

Jen Gray: I can’t.

Amy Sloan: I’m not quite as limber as my kids, but I do my best. So I, well, I, I peter out about halfway through the song.

Jen Gray: I think it also counts as exercise for mom, right? Right. Right. So, yeah. So, and I quit and I quit jumping and just basically lift up my leg and clap. I’m turning. It’s about the enthusiasm, right?

Amy Sloan: Exactly. Well, Jen, where can people find you all around the internet? So mostly on YouTube at Homeschool with Jen.

Jen Gray: I have an Instagram, homeschool with Jen, and I promise that I am trying to get back into more Instagram, but it just hasn’t happened. We just finished school volleyball season.

Amy Sloan: Perfect. Well, I will have links to those things in the show notes for this episode at humilityanddoxology.com. Those of you who are watching, please take a moment to subscribe to Humility and Doxology. If you are listening, please make sure that you’re following, liking, and subscribing in your podcast app. And if you were interested in learning more about the Humility and Doxology program, please check out the link in the show notes for this episode. Thank you so much for joining me today, and I will talk with you again soon.