Essential Tips for Homeschooling High Schoolers

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Wondering how to homeschool high school? Homeschooling gives us the opportunity to balance rigorous academics with the unique needs of their teenagers. As parents, we often wonder how to effectively prepare our high schoolers for their next steps—be it college, vocational training, or the workforce. With the right strategies and a focus on building a supportive family culture, homeschooling can provide a personalized learning experience for your teen that not only meets academic requirements but also fosters independence and responsibility. Let’s explore essential tips and insights to help you create a fulfilling high school journey for your homeschooler.

Table Of Contents

Homeschooling Philosophy from Littles to Teens
Is it worth it to homeschool high school?
How to plan for a successful homeschool high school experience
Life Skills for Teens
How can we promote close family relationships with our teens?
What comes after high school?
Pam's best tips for a bad homeschool day
You CAN homeschool high school with confidence!
Key Takeaways
Listen to the full podcast episode “Essential Tips for Homeschooling High Schoolers with Pam Barnhill” on Homeschool Conversations with Humility and Doxology
Find Pam Barnhill online
You May Also Enjoy
Check out all the other interviews in my Homeschool Conversations series!

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Homeschooling Philosophy from Littles to Teens

In this episode I’m joined by my friend Pam Barnhill, a long-time homeschooling mom and expert in helping families homeschool with confidence. Pam and her husband, Matt, have been married for 30 years, and they homeschool their three children, ages 19, 17, and almost 15. With a background as an award-winning educator and former journalist, Pam has a gift for breaking down big ideas into manageable steps. She’s the host of the popular Homeschool Better Together podcast and the author of Better Together. Pam shares how homeschooling has been a central part of her family’s journey from the very beginning, providing a strong foundation for their children’s education.

Pam reflects on how her homeschooling philosophy has evolved over the years, acknowledging that her approach has shifted significantly as she gained more experience. She shares that, like many homeschoolers, it took her a few years to feel confident, especially in the early stages when it can feel like you’re “throwing spaghetti at the wall.” Pam notes that it’s natural to adjust as you learn more about your children’s needs and preferences. Although she once planned out every year of her homeschooling journey when her oldest was young, she now appreciates the flexibility to change course as new resources become available and as her children grow into their unique personalities.

One of the biggest lessons Pam has learned is that homeschooling is not about creating mini versions of ourselves but nurturing the individual growth of each child. As they reach their teen years, Pam sees them developing into distinct individuals with their own ideas and goals. She emphasizes that being willing to adapt and pivot when necessary is not a sign of failure but part of the natural process of growth and learning as a homeschool family.

Is it worth it to homeschool high school?

Yes! It is definitely worth any challenges to keep homeschooling through high school! Pam tackles the common anxieties homeschool moms face when thinking about the high school years and offers encouragement to stay the course. Pam strongly believes that continuing to homeschool through high school is absolutely worth it, primarily because of the deeper relationships that are built during this time. She emphasizes that maintaining strong connections with your teens should take priority over stressing about creating the perfect transcript. While academic records can always be adjusted or improved, the relationships you cultivate with your children will have a lasting impact.

One of the biggest challenges Pam identifies is the mindset shift moms need when approaching homeschooling teens. She reminds listeners that just as they figured out how to homeschool when their children were younger, they can also figure out high school homeschooling. It’s all “figureoutable” with research, conversations, and curriculum exploration, just as it was in the early years.

Pam encourages moms not to lose sight of the bigger picture: nurturing the hearts and minds of their teenagers as they grow into unique individuals, rather than focusing solely on academic pressures.

How to plan for a successful homeschool high school experience

Pam Barnhill emphasizes that the key is not to overcomplicate things. She reassures parents that the process is not drastically different from planning for younger grades. It’s primarily about naming and organizing the work your children are doing in a way that is understood by others, like colleges or future employers. Pam reminds homeschoolers that creating a transcript is simply a “communication device”—a way to present the education your child has received in a language that outside institutions can understand.

Pam suggests several practical tips:

Keep it Simple: You don’t need to change your planning approach. Instead of worrying about high school as something entirely new, recognize that you’re doing much of the same work, just with a focus on naming and tracking it differently.
Use Resources: She recommends using planning guides and checking websites like HSLDA for guidance on credit hours and course descriptions. Pam also mentions her own free planning guide that walks families through creating a homeschool high school plan.
Think About Credit Hours: For estimating credit hours, Pam offers a handy trick: use the length of an audiobook to calculate how much time your student has spent on a subject, particularly for literature.
Tailor the Transcript: When it comes to transcripts, name courses in a straightforward way. For example, even if you teach using a humanities approach that blends multiple subjects, on the transcript, label courses as “U.S. History” or “American Literature” so that colleges can easily understand it.
Don’t Stress the Details: Pam highlights that it’s okay to estimate hours and suggests focusing more on preparing your child for life after high school rather than being overly concerned with crafting a perfect transcript.

Life Skills for Teens

In response to how homeschoolers can prioritize life skills, mentoring, community involvement, and service during the teen years, Pam Barnhill emphasizes the importance of authenticity. She suggests that for teens to truly engage in life skills and community activities, the experiences need to be meaningful to them and not feel artificial or forced.

Here are some key ideas:

Jobs as Life-Skill Builders: Pam encourages teens to get jobs where they can earn money and learn budgeting skills. The motivation of earning their own money has been a strong driver for her own kids to take responsibility, work hard, and even seek promotions. She shares how one of her sons has been working since age 14, managing responsibilities, gaining certifications, and even contributing to a 401k.
Church and Real-Life Service Opportunities: Pam highlights how her children have found ways to contribute through their church, with one child playing piano and eventually being paid to substitute as a choir director. These were natural extensions of their involvement in the church community, not something artificially created.
Extracurricular Involvement Based on Their Interests: Pam mentions how one of her children is involved in the Civil Air Patrol, an activity he chose for himself. She stresses that teens should be allowed to pursue activities that interest them, as they are more likely to be engaged and committed to those pursuits.
Authentic Life Skills: Pam underscores that practical life skills, such as doing laundry, should be fully entrusted to the teens. Instead of simply teaching them and then continuing to do the task yourself, she advises handing over the responsibility entirely so they experience it in a real, practical way.
Individualized Opportunities: Remember that each child is unique with different gifts and interests. By allowing them to explore and pursue what aligns with their talents, parents can foster meaningful growth in life skills and community involvement.

Both of us agree that these authentic experiences help teens develop valuable life skills while maintaining their engagement and interest.

How can we promote close family relationships with our teens?

In this conversation about how to maintain a shared family culture and close relationships while homeschooling teens who have more responsibilities, Pam emphasizes the value of Morning Time as a family touchpoint. Here are the key strategies we discuss for balancing family togetherness with the realities of teens’ academic and outside commitments:

Morning Time as a Family Anchor: Pam highlights that Morning Time can be a great way for the family, especially teens and younger siblings, to connect. She shares how her co-author Heather Tully, who has a large age gap between her children, used Morning Time as the one moment when her older teens and younger children could spend time together.
Practicality of Morning Time: Morning Time often works better than other touchpoints like family dinners, which can be difficult due to teens’ work or extracurricular schedules. Pam advises homeschool families not to feel guilty if dinner together is hard to achieve, as Morning Time can offer a consistent family connection.
Honoring Teens’ Time: Recognizing that teens have more intense academic and extracurricular schedules, Pam suggests making Morning Time count for them by incorporating things that contribute to their academic goals. For instance, counting activities like poetry memorization or grammar lessons as part of their high school credit. This way, teens see the value of the time spent together with the family.
Short and Focused Sessions: Both of us agree that making Morning Time short and focused can help retain the teens’ participation without overwhelming them. In my own family, we keep Morning Time brief and focuses on things that are important for everyone to experience together.
Flexibility for Teens: Pam recommends front-loading Morning Time with content that teens can participate in, and then allowing them to leave for their other responsibilities. This flexible approach respects the teen’s academic load while still promoting family bonding.

By incorporating these practical tips, families can foster a shared family culture and maintain close relationships, even as teens grow older and take on more outside commitments.

What comes after high school?

We all want to help our high schoolers navigate the transition to the next stage of life, whether it be college, work, or something else. Here are a few ways we can promote this transition:

Allowing Teens to Figure Things Out: Pam shares her experience with her daughter Olivia navigating college. Initially, Olivia struggled with understanding the structure of college—grades, expectations, and time management—but after a few months, she figured out how to “play the game.” Pam emphasizes that while it’s important to offer guidance, sometimes stepping back and allowing teens to learn through experience can help them take ownership of their responsibilities.
Gradual Transition to Independence: Dual enrollment during high school provides my teens with a way to begin learning how to navigate college-level expectations while still at home. This allows teens to have a safe space to learn skills like using tutoring resources and managing their time before they are fully independent.
Recognizing Different Systems: Both of us reflect on the fact that formal education systems, especially in college, can sometimes feel disconnected from actual learning. They note that students can excel within the system—such as by getting good grades—without necessarily mastering the material. Conversely, students may struggle with grades while still learning valuable skills.
Learning New Skills: Pam points out that, much like test-taking, navigating the academic and social systems of college or work is a skill that takes time to develop. Teens who have been homeschooled may have to adapt to these new environments, but with time, they will learn how to succeed.
The System Isn’t Everything: Pam concludes by reminding parents that while the formal educational system may be structured and sometimes intimidating, it’s not the only way to learn. Teens can still thrive and learn valuable life skills outside of traditional academic frameworks.

I encourage you to trust your teens to grow and learn through experience, to offer support when needed, and to recognize that success isn’t solely defined by formal systems like grades.

should i go to college homeschool high school

Pam’s best tips for a bad homeschool day

As we concluded our conversation, Pam shared her best tips for managing a homeschool day or season that feels like it’s going off the rails.

Don’t Force It: Pam emphasizes the importance of not forcing learning on difficult days. If the day isn’t going well, it can be beneficial to step back, change the environment, and do something enjoyable, like going for ice cream or playing outside. This flexibility can relieve pressure and help reset the mood.
Embrace Seasonal Homeschooling: Pam introduces the concept of seasonal homeschooling, which acknowledges that homeschooling isn’t meant to be consistent in intensity throughout the entire year. She notes that many families experience a high level of productivity and enthusiasm at the beginning of the school year, often referred to as the “honeymoon phase.”
Understanding Natural Highs and Lows: Just like the tides, Pam suggests that homeschooling has its natural ebbs and flows. There are periods of high productivity (“high tides”) where everything feels like it’s running smoothly, and there are “low tides,” where the focus may shift to more relaxed activities, like read-alouds or lighter subjects.
Lean into the Cycle: Instead of feeling guilty during low periods, Pam encourages families to lean into those times. By allowing themselves to step back and engage in more relaxed, enjoyable learning, they can recharge. When the family is ready to ramp up the intensity again, they will have the energy to do so without the burden of guilt for not maintaining a constant pace.

Overall, Pam’s advice for homeschool families of any stage centers around flexibility, understanding the cyclical nature of homeschooling, and prioritizing the well-being of both the students and the parents.

You CAN homeschool high school with confidence!

Homeschooling high school offers a remarkable opportunity to tailor education to your child’s unique needs and interests. By embracing the challenges and joys of this season, you can empower your teenager to take ownership of their learning while preparing them for their future endeavors. Whether through dual enrollment, seasonal adjustments, or fostering a strong family culture, the key lies in understanding that education is not a one-size-fits-all approach. With thoughtful planning and open communication, you can navigate this new stage together, ensuring a successful and enriching homeschool experience for your high schooler.

Key Takeaways

Prioritize Family Culture: Establishing regular family time, like Morning Time, helps maintain relationships among siblings, especially as teens take on more responsibilities.
Flexible Morning Time: Keep Morning Time short and focused, allowing teens to engage with younger siblings while also respecting their time and academic needs.
Utilize Shared Activities for Credits: Incorporate family activities into high school credits by counting them towards subjects like language arts or grammar, making them valuable for transcripts.
Encourage Ownership of Learning: Allow teens to take responsibility for their education and grades, which fosters independence and personal investment in their academic success.
Navigating New Systems: Transitioning to high school or college may require learning new systems, such as understanding grading and academic expectations, which can be different from the homeschooling experience.
Value of Experience: The first semester in a new academic setting may be challenging, but students often adapt and figure out how to succeed with time and experience.
Seasonal Homeschooling Approach: Recognize that homeschooling will have high and low tides, and it’s important to lean into both. Embrace periods of intensity and allow for more relaxed phases.
Avoiding Pressure During Low Tides: When facing a challenging season, it’s okay to take breaks or switch focus, such as reading more aloud or doing lighter activities, instead of pushing through.
State-Specific Dual Enrollment Options: Research and understand the dual enrollment opportunities and regulations in your state, as these can vary widely and impact homeschooling choices.
Connect with Other Homeschoolers: Engaging with local homeschool communities can provide support, insights, and practical advice on navigating laws and educational resources.

Listen to the full podcast episode “Essential Tips for Homeschooling High Schoolers with Pam Barnhill” on Homeschool Conversations with Humility and Doxology

Pam Barnhill believes that you don’t have to sacrifice relationships to homeschool strong. An award-winning educator, former journalist, and now homeschooling mom, she has a knack for breaking down big tasks into small, manageable steps and getting to the heart of the stories her listeners want to hear.

She is the host of the Homeschool Better Together Podcast — and the author of Better Together: Strengthen Your Family, Simplify Your Homeschool, and Savor the Subjects that Matter Most and Plan Your Year: Homeschool Planning for Purpose and Peace.

Pam lives in the Deep South with her husband of thirty years, three (mostly) awesome kids, and a passel of family dogs. You can find her online at pambarnhill.com.

Find Pam Barnhill online

Check out all the other interviews in my Homeschool Conversations series!

Amy Sloan: Hello friends. Today I am joined by my friend Pam Barnhill. She has been a previous guest on the podcast and always brings wonderful things, so I’m so excited she’s here with us today. Pam believes that you don’t have to sacrifice relationships to homeschool strong. She’s an award-winning educator, former journalist, and now homeschooling mom, and Pam has a knack for breaking down big tasks into small manageable steps and getting to the heart of the stories her listeners want to hear. She’s the host of the Homeschool Better Together podcast and the author of Better Together. Pam and her family live in the Deep South and you can find her at pambarnhill.com. All right Pam, there’s the professional little introduction, but why don’t you tell us a little bit about yourself and your family.

Pam Barnhill: Okay, I would love to, and Amy, thank you so much for having me back on, and it is great to be here with you. Yes, I’m a mom of three kids. We have homeschooled since the very beginning. I like to say since the beginning of time, and yes, so my oldest is 19, my next oldest is 17, and then the baby, he is almost 15 years old, which is just crazy when you think about it. My husband Matt and I have been married 30 years this year, and yes, we homeschool. That’s what we do.

Amy Sloan: I love to hear from moms who have been homeschooling for a while because I think sometimes the thing you thought homeschool was going to be like when you had all little children maybe deepens or changes over the years. Would you say that your approach to homeschooling or your philosophy of education has grown or changed over the years, and what do you wish you had known now that you have a homeschool graduate? What do you wish you had known back when your kids were younger?

Pam Barnhill: Has it changed during the years? Gosh, the answer is yes. I think for just about like there’s one person I know, Brandy Vencel, like she seemed like she got into the homeschooling space, latched on to one thing and said, I’m staying here and I’m never changing anything, but everybody else other than Brandy, changes stuff. We’ve changed so much during the years. I will say I probably found my groove when Olivia was like seven or eight years old. When we had been homeschooling about three years, because we started when she was in preschool, I started with her and John doing both the same little preschool program and then kindergarten, first, second grade, right about second grade. That’s when I discovered like I felt confident that I knew what I was doing. That’s something that I’ve started telling homeschoolers is that like the first three years are going to feel really uncomfortable, right? It’s going to feel like you don’t know what you’re doing. You just can’t figure out what you’re supposed to do. You can’t get your head on straight about it. You’re trying all the things, maybe throwing spaghetti at the wall a little bit, and then you get more confident. I think it just comes with a little bit of time. We’ve been having these conversations in a book group that we have with some of our community members. We’re reading Daniel Willingham’s, Why Don’t Students Like School? He talks in there about like needing 10 years to be an expert at something, right? I think after three years, you get enough confidence that you never, like even now, I don’t consider myself an expert at homeschooling. I consider myself an expert at homeschooling my kids, right? Yes. Anyway, did I change? Yes, 100%. I changed. There was this whole journey of like reading things and exploring things and talking to people. Some of the best things that I did was have conversations with other homeschoolers, I landed on this thing that I call uschooling, because it’s not unschooling, definitely. I’m way too structured to be unschooling. I had this thought the other day, are unschoolers like the anarchist of homeschooling? I’m going to have to think about that one for a while. It’s like, oh, this is the thoughts that Pam has in her head. You think deep thoughts, you have conversations, you read lots of books, and then you figure out like how to become an expert on homeschooling your own kids. Did that make sense?

Amy Sloan: Oh, I think it does quite a bit. I think the last time, one of the previous times I had you on, actually, you were talking a lot more about this idea of us schooling. I’ll definitely have people listen to that one as well. I think so often when we start, we think we have to already be an expert. new homeschool moms who are already putting so much pressure on themselves to figure it all out, to make all the right initial curriculum decisions, to plan out the 12 years so that they never have to change. Just to realize that when things maybe don’t work out the way you thought they were going to, or your child changes, your family’s needs change, just because you’re pivoting or you’re adjusting your original idea doesn’t mean you’re doing anything wrong. That’s all part of the growth process of being a homeschool mom, right?

Pam Barnhill: Yes, 100%. Because I do think, especially my personality type, there is this comfort in seeing the big picture plan. I can see it all laid out in front of me, and that’s fine. It’s totally fine to do that. I really did have the spreadsheet when my daughter was two, where I had planned like the curriculum we were going to use for every single year. Then I look back on that version of myself and I’m like, what? She needed that. I’m going to give her grace because she really needed that. Now I can see like, there’s so many fabulous things that have come onto the market since then. If I had shut that out and said, oh, I’m never going to change. I’m never going to use anything. I would have closed myself off from some of our favorite programs that we’ve used in the past few years. We’ve shifted. We’ve changed. My kids grew up to be totally different people from what I expected them to be. isn’t that the big lesson we learn as homeschool moms is that our children are not just little mini-me’s. They’re not just little versions of ourselves. Darn it.

Amy Sloan: That’s also one of the most fun parts as they start coming into those teen years, because you start seeing them as these unique humans, right? These unique people that God has made who have their own thoughts, their own ideas. That can be a scary part of homeschooling high school, but it can also be a really beautiful part too. Yes, it really can.

Pam Barnhill: You know, it’s funny because for some reason, I have no idea why, Thomas was up this morning. He’s my youngest and he was up having a cup of coffee when I came out of the bedroom at 6.15. Why? Why are you up? He and I sat on the porch with the dogs for a little bit this morning and he went to this camp this summer, this engineering camp. Now he’s all about, this is where I want to go to college, the college where he went to the camp at. He’s like, this is where I want to go to college and this is what I want to study. It’s nice. I’ve never had a kid who had an idea of what they wanted to do before. Even after you’ve had multiple kids go through high school, then you get one that’s like, whoa, you’re different than the other ones.

Amy Sloan: Yes. Even confident homeschool moms, you were talking about like after a few years, you get that confidence and like, okay, I can figure this out. I can figure out my children, what our family needs. Even those of us who felt pretty good about homeschooling, we can start thinking about the high school years and start getting a little bit antsy. It gets a little scary. I found that even as someone who had graduated from homeschool myself, the thought of doing it with my own children for the first time was a little scary. What do you think are some of the biggest struggles or challenges we face as homeschool moms thinking about those upcoming teen years? Do you think it’s still worth it to homeschool in high school?

Pam Barnhill: Okay. Let’s just start with the second part of your question first. The answer is 100% totally yes, worth it to homeschool in high school because of those relationships. I have been feeling myself just this idea of, my kids are going to be leaving soon, right? Within the next probably seven years, eight years, they will all be out of the nest, God willing, and doing their own thing. That seems like a very short period of time to me now that my kids are older. when you’re oldest is seven, you’re like, oh, my goodness, this can’t come soon enough. They’ll never leave. They’ll never leave. I’m like, I’m going to have to, make lunch for them forever, No, you don’t. I can see that. It’s 100% worth it to have those relationships and to have those conversations and just enjoy that time together. Let me tell you, the relationships are so much more important than the transcript. Never sacrifice the relationship for a better transcript. Your kid can overcome any transcript issues that come up. You can overcome that. There are ways around, what you may feel like is a bad transcript, but the relationship is forever. It’s for the rest of your life. Never sacrifice that. That’s the first thing. The second thing is, just this is like what we were talking about all along. What do moms need to do? What’s the biggest struggle for them? It’s your mindset. It 100% comes down to your mindset when it comes to teaching high school. The reason is, I want you to think about this. Even you, Amy, it’s so funny that you said that. that it all works out in the end. Without throwing your mother under the bus, I bet you could look back and say, my homeschooling could have been better in some ways. There were some ways where years just weren’t what, just weren’t perfect, Maybe I, oh, Misty Winkler always tells about how she cheated at math when she was in high school. She would look at the answers in the back of the book. She still turned out just fine, Even though the end of the story, you still struggle a little bit. It all comes down to this mindset that we have. Here’s what I want moms to know. I want you to think about this. When you started homeschooling, whether you started homeschooling a kindergartner, whether you started homeschooling a third grader, whether you started homeschooling a sixth grader, when you started homeschooling, you knew very little about how to be a homeschooling parent. There was very little that you knew about it. What did you do? You researched things. You talked to other homeschoolers online. You spent your time looking at curriculum. In figuring this out, high schooling is no different at all. That is the exact same process you learn or you follow to be comfortable homeschooling high school. You do a little bit of research. You talk to other homeschoolers online. You look at curriculum. You figure it out. It is all figureoutable. The fact that you’ve done this already before should just give you the confidence that it’ll be even easier to do it the second time because it’s not that different.

Amy Sloan: . I love your reminder that the relationships trump the transcript because we talk a lot about the value of relationships, especially in those early years of homeschooling. Somehow, because we get this idea in our head that this counts or somehow there’s more pressure we put on ourselves about the high school years, we’re like, forget the relationship. Forget creative learning. Open up the textbook. Crack the whip. It’s really good to just remind ourselves what truly matters. That’s the actual image bearers in our home, right? That is a wonderful perspective and foundation from which to start thinking about the homeschool high school years. Also, we know there’s some practical parts that we have to deal with. There’s course descriptions and the transcript and the credit hours and all those things that can feel a little bit just different, maybe outside of our comfort zone. What are some of your best tips for planning that successful high school experience?

Pam Barnhill: You’re not going to change the way that you’ve planned at all. You’re going to hear me say this over and over again. I think it struck me probably at the end of Olivia’s 10th grade year and the beginning of Olivia’s 11th grade year. I looked around and said, I’m really not doing anything all that different than I’ve ever done. That was when it struck me that this boogeyman that I’ve built up in my head about homeschooling high school was just that. It was just a boogeyman, right? I was really just doing the same stuff I had always done. We were like putting a name on it, right? I was evaluating her work a little bit. There’s just so many resources out there for you. I have a whole series of videos on YouTube about homeschooling high school. We have our navigating high school course that we have. We even have a free planning guide. I can give you the link to that, Amy, so that you can put it in the show notes so that people could download it. That just walks you step by step through creating a plan. It even gives you like a whole list of different course ideas for the different subjects. Really, you’re naming something, whereas maybe before you didn’t really name something. we’ve always named math. We’re naming it in such a way that other people understand. When you think about a transcript, I want you to think about it as a communication device. You are communicating with the college or the workplace or whomever. You’re communicating with them about the education your child has received. That is all that it is. You’re going to communicate with them in the way, in the language that they understand. You would never go to Japan and walk up to somebody in Japan and start speaking German, right? Because they don’t understand that language. You’re communicating with the college in a language that they understand. That happens to be the language of named courses and letter grades. Sometimes actually on Olivia’s transcript, they actually made me put in a number. I couldn’t just put the letter. I had to put in a number, right? They’re asking you to communicate in a certain way, and you’re just communicating with them in that way. The rest of it is just research, looking at how many credit hours makes up a course. If you go on to the HSLDA website or you look at the free planning guide that I’ve got for you, it’ll tell you like how many credit hours. I think it’s like somewhere between 120 and 150, depending on whether you’re calling the course honors or not, right? Then you just start to tally up those hours. You can estimate. You can 100% estimate those hours. A really great hack my friend Jamie Martin taught me was if you have a kid and let’s say they’re reading eight books for literature this year, and you’re like, well, geez, how many credit hours, how many hours is this towards their credit? Go look on Audible, see how long the audio book is, and then add them all up. There you go. There’s your number. You’re not having to track and like color in every little square. It’s okay to estimate as you’re communicating to the college, how your child did, what their education was like, how they handled that education. Look, you’re not doing your child any favors if you send them into the world unprepared for what comes next. Your number one goal in high school is to prepare your child for what comes next. Communicating with the college doesn’t, is not even necessarily married to the step of preparing your child for what comes next. That’s the most important part.

Amy Sloan: I think that’s really helpful to remember that it’s about communicating in a language that the employer or the college will understand. I know in our homeschool, we take like a humanities approach to history and literature and philosophy and art. We’re doing it in a way that would maybe appear very non-traditional. On the transcript, I don’t call it a like humanities approach where we combine a lot of subjects. I just call it something like U.S. History 1, American literature, because that is what we did. That is going to be something they understand. If I try to be cutesy on the transcript, they’re not going to understand really what my children have learned. Same thing when we’ve done like a U.S. Government in Economics. Totally did that completely without a curriculum or textbook. I just had books I wanted my children to read, original sources. We had a lot of discussions. Then I had them take the U.S. Government CLEP exam. Not only could they pass the exam and get college credit, but then, I didn’t feel bad about just putting a U.S. Government credit on the transcript, because maybe we didn’t use a textbook, but they totally understood the material.

Pam Barnhill: Yes, and I love that so much. I really think that’s the way to go. Because look, if you were just keeping a record for you would never create a transcript that said American History 1 on it, right? You would keep some other more lovely, beautiful records so that you could remember one day what it was you did in your homeschool. The transcript is not for you. It is just very simply a communication device to tell, what your kids know, so that they can move on to the next step. You put it into the language they want. That is a perfect example. Another example is one that I’ve used before. About Olivia’s 10th grade year, she had this fascination with mythology. she really wanted to dig deeper into not only Greek mythology, but world mythology. We spent the year doing that. We read a lot of Roman history, just because I was like, oh, let me just choose a resource. I chose a Roman history resource. Then we did a lot of, because I knew we would be doing more Greek mythology. Then we had some world mythology stuff, some Norse mythology. She had this big, huge encyclopedia of mythology that she read out of all year long. Nowhere on her transcript does it say mythology. It just says English 10, because that was what she did. She did some writing projects. She did some reading, those kinds of things. She was doing a grammar curriculum at the same time. I just smooshed it all together and said, this is English 10. Now, if anybody ever came to me and said, could you write me a course description for English 10, which by the way, nobody has, but if they did, then I would sit down and honestly, I’d probably go to chat GPT and say, we did this, this, and this year, write me a course description, and then just take whatever it had and like, plop it in there. Because I’m just lazy that way. No, I love it. It really does. It can be just that simple, right?

Amy Sloan: Yes. Yes. We know the teen years are a lot more than just the academics. What are some ways we can encourage our children in those life skills, nurturing relationships, community involvement, volunteering, all that other stuff? The real life stuff.

Pam Barnhill: I think the big thing is you’ve got to make it meaningful for them. It’s making it artificial, I think, is that’s where they dig in their feed, and they resist. My kids have had jobs. I’ve been talking to Thomas, you’re almost 15. you’re like, at least one of your siblings was working by now. It’s maybe time to get a job. That is really helpful, because there’s the motivation of making the money, having the income. That’s a big motivator for my kids, having their own spending money, being able to budget with it, being able to do what it is they want to do with that. That has been incredibly motivating to them. Then they want to work. Then they want to do a good job with their work. Then they want to get promotions at work. We’ve just been so very fortunate, my one son who has been working since he was 14, he has been promoted. He is now managing. He’s gotten certifications with that. He has a 401k. I know. Yes, he already has a few thousand dollars, and it’s 401k. That’s big stuff, but it’s authentic stuff. It was nothing that I created. Other examples of this, hopefully you have some church group that you can tap into. I realize that youth groups can be hit or miss from church to church. We’ve been blessed with a very good one that my kids could participate in. Then other real life activities. Olivia’s been able to play piano at church, and now she’s gotten to the point where she substitutes for the choir director when he’s out of town, and she gets paid to do that. She, and so that’s actually a paid position when you substitute, but it came from this authentic place of, hey, let’s be part of this group, this band, this choir at church, and then, oh, now we need a keyboardist for this. Could you do this? It was a very authentic thing. Then Thomas is very into Civil Air Patrol, but it was something that he chose to do. I guess what I’m getting at is it has to be things of their choosing. they’ve got to be committed to it. If you keep drumming up these artificial experiences for them, they’re probably not going to be very engaged by them. It has to be something that they’re interested in. It has to be something that’s authentic, that’s real life, as opposed to, a class in life skills is good, but know that that’s just the very beginning from there. really have them do their laundry every week. It’s like, okay, laundry’s yours. You’re taking that over. Don’t just say, this is how we do the laundry, and then you keep doing the laundry. They’re in charge of doing their laundry. things like that. It has to be authentic, it has to be meaningful to them.

Amy Sloan: Then you can just see even from what you were sharing about your different children, how different unique children with different unique gifts and interests find their own little niche way to play some of those things out. Yes, I love that. Yes, they really do. Many of us are homeschooling high schoolers or teens, and we still have younger children at home. That can be a bit of a struggle as teens have more responsibilities. Maybe they have jobs outside the home, other classes, a more intense academic load perhaps. It’s still so important to prioritize that shared family culture, those relationships. What are some ways we can do that while also respecting, the needs and the realities of those teen years?

Pam Barnhill: What I’m going to say, right? I’m going to say morning time. I threw a little nice pitch for you. Yes. Thanks for allowing me to hit that one out of the park. No, it’s morning time. Seriously, it is. My kids are close in age, but I’ll just go back to my co-author of the book Gather, which is all about morning time. Heather Tully, she has 10 kids. I think now her oldest is 23. Her youngest is six. A few years ago when we wrote the book, she’s like, the only way that my 15 year old would see my toddler is when we do morning time. If we’re not doing morning time, their sleep schedules are against each other. The one kid’s getting up and going to work. They just wouldn’t see each other or spend any time with each other outside of morning time. I think having that time set aside in the day, because even if you do family prayers in the evening, by the time you get a teenager who’s working two or three nights a week, or you’re trying to eat dinner together as a family, and listen, homeschool families should never feel guilty if they’re struggling to eat dinner together. Because you always hear like the statistics that say like, oh, families should always eat dinner together. That’s like, are your families just like going to hell in a handbasket? Homeschool families are together all the time. If you don’t make the dinner thing, don’t beat yourself up over it, right? It gets harder. It totally gets harder for you and all the siblings and everybody to be together. Even if you’re not making other points, family touch points during the day, like dinner, or like a family prayer time in the evening, because somebody’s at a job, then you can do morning time. That’s the time of day where most people are going to be there, because they don’t let most teenagers work until after school hours anyway. You can get together and get the toddler together with the teenager, do something shared family culture. Now, because you do have teenagers, you do need to honor their time. There are a couple of different ways you can do this. Anything that you do in morning time, any way that you can make it count towards the transcript is a good thing. Let’s say if you’re doing poetry, memory work, or different things like that in morning time, maybe you’re even reading aloud. Though by the time older kids are older, you might let some of them go for some of those younger kid read alouds, right? Anything that you’re doing, count those towards your hours. Say, what, we spend 10 minutes a day working on poetry memorization in morning time. That’s 50 minutes a week, right? Those 50 minutes a week count towards the credit hours for my teenagers language arts, right there. there’s no reason in the world why that poetry memorization should not count towards their language arts. That’s the first thing. Then let them know what you’re doing. This actually counts. If you’re doing a couple years ago, we did the Michael Clay Thompson sentence a day in morning time. My daughter was in ninth grade. That totally counted towards her grammar for ninth grade. It totally counted towards her English one credit for ninth grade. Have it count. That’s the first thing. Then secondly, front load your morning time with the things that you want the teens to be able to do with the rest of you, and then let them go. Start your morning time with stuff for the younger kids. Let your teens come join you at a certain part, but not require them to be there for the big long drawn out thing, especially if you’re using it to combine younger kids for some of their content area subjects. Just have those parts where the teens show up and do that part with you before they go on to do their other stuff. Yes, that’s a really great tip.

Amy Sloan: We’ve definitely seen that in our own family. Just make the morning time where everyone is together much shorter, focused on the things that are most important to me that we share, and then let the teens go and do their work. I haven’t thought, how could I use the things we’re doing in our morning time towards a high school credit? That’s really smart. I’m going to have to think about that now. Yes. What comes after? What comes after all of this? We’ve planned our homeschool high school, we’ve crafted this beautiful experience, and then they graduate. How can we help our high schooler navigate that next stage, whether it’s going to be work, or college, or something else?

Pam Barnhill: Just speaking from the experience that I’ve had so far with one kid, right? Come and ask me this question again in four or five years, and maybe I’ll have a better answer for you. It’ll probably be different for each kid, right? Probably so. I watched her figure it out. The whole college situation, and I think this was our biggest concern. Poor Olivia, I’m going to throw her under the bus, I feel like. This was our biggest, handling, juggling all the things. That was our biggest concern for her. She’s so smart, and she’s so, just like, she does a fabulous job, getting along with people, and making people feel good about themselves. She just has this wonderful personality, and she can do anything she sets her mind to. Juggling all the things, that was the part where we were really worried. I would say for, the first three or four weeks, I was the annoying, nagging mom, right? Did you do all your homework? Have you, done this? Have you done that? Have you done this? Then I realized, the child had no concept of, making a good grade. Because I had never really talked to her about the grades that were on her transcript. she did Mr. D math, and she could look up her grade. I’m not sure she ever did, right? For the most part, she had no concept of making a good grade. I would ask her, what are your grades? She’d be like, I don’t know. She had no concept of it. Then she started figuring things out. Oh, in college, they give me grades. There’s this expectation for this. Let me go look and see what those grades are. She figured out where to go look them up. Then she was like, oh, well, maybe if I study for this test a little bit differently. Then she started figuring out things like when, where to study and when to study and how to study and all of this stuff. It wasn’t like she was failing before. She was doing all the things that they were asking of her. She didn’t realize because she had never played the game before. She didn’t realize that it was a game. that there was a system and a way it worked and that, there was there was these right actions and wrong actions and things that made your life easier and like just getting to know your teachers and all of that. It like clicked for her about two to three months in. Right. I would say a little past the halfway point of that first semester. Then since then, it’s been like complete smooth sailing, They figure it out. I think that’s the biggest thing is like if you like it had never been important to us to talk about the game or play the game or she’d never been to school. She didn’t know anything about it. I said, I didn’t share like what was on the transcript. She didn’t care. Then she figured out, oh, there’s a game and I’m supposed to be playing it. Yes, she had been learning all along, but then she figured out the game and then she’s like, oh, I’m going to make all A’s this summer.

Amy Sloan: I love that. Then she took ownership of it and which had, I’m sure has a much bigger impact long-term, she has the buy-in than if you had just been the nagging mom, for her entire college experience.

Pam Barnhill: Now I do not nag at all. There’s no nagging now. I don’t feel the need to like, at first I was like logging into Blackboard and seeing like what her assignments were. Then I’d go say like, have you done all your assignments that lasted for about five weeks? Then she started to get it and then she figured out the game. Then it’s like, now I don’t even have to worry about it.

Amy Sloan: I think that is one thing that was nice. We’ve done a lot of dual enrollment with my older two teens. I think we’ll probably do it differently with my third child just because every kid is different. Right. That was nice while they were still at home and still more under my roof and under my authority in a different way than, post-graduation. Just sort of start learning those things like, hey, do they have like free tutoring sessions? You can go and do your homework in these free places and they have like tutors available to help you. Just to be able to work through some of those new experiences. Because you’re right. It is, it’s like a different system and you can be a smart, motivated kid who just has to learn a new system, a new way of doing things. It’s like test taking, right? Test taking is its own skill, right? You can be really smart, but you have to learn how to take a test well. It’s the same thing. You just have to learn a new skill.

Pam Barnhill: Yes, it really is. We think, I think this is the thing too for a lot of homeschoolers, especially those of us who went through public school, is we build this up in our head. It’s like, this is the holy grail. School and the school system and the way they grade and the way they do transcripts and everything. Because they do, like your entire school, unless you, go to like some small liberal arts college, like a new college, Franklin or something, where they do something like completely out of the box and different, where you like your whole college class is 12 kids for your entire four years and you all stay together and take every class together, whatever. For the most part, they built this system and you’re in this system. It’s not the only way to educate. It’s just the only way that most of us know, right? We think it’s this big Leviathan breathing down our neck, and if our kid isn’t making all A’s, they’re not learning anything. Olivia was learning plenty when she was struggling to bring home B’s at the beginning of the semester. She just needed to learn that new skill that you were talking about, right? Then it’s like, oh, now it clicks. The system is really divorced from the learning. The two can be completely different. You can learn a lot without ever making good grades anywhere. Very true.

Amy Sloan: You can make the good grade and not learn. Never learn anything. Yes. Because I did that a lot too.

Pam Barnhill: I think we all have an experience. Because I knew how to work that system.

Amy Sloan: Yes. Even as a homeschool student, there are a couple of classes I’m like, I know I got A’s on those tests, but I know nothing about that subject.

Pam Barnhill: 100%. I’m so glad you brought that up because it totally works both ways. The system of education is completely divorced from learning, honestly.

Amy Sloan: Is there anything now that you have graduated a homeschooler? Has, is that changing anything you’re doing with your younger students?

Pam Barnhill: No. No. Okay. Let me think about that for a second. it’s not really changing the way I approach homeschooling and that stuff. I do, like you said about the dual enrollment, I would, there’s just no reason of looking at the two students I have, because you’re right, depending on your students, you could do something differently. There’s no reason in the world not to start them with one or two classes a little bit early, the ones that I have, so they can start. I’ve got one who, I think the motivation of knowing that he’s getting on with the next chapter of his life, would probably, that would probably be really motivating to him. I’m looking at, hey, let’s maybe look at doing a math class or something, because that’s going to be easy for you. Get you started and let you get that taste of what it’s like. I might try dual enrolling. That’s something that’s something we haven’t done that we might try. I would say as far as, my general approach to homeschooling or anything, no, not really. Because when they’re motivated, they will figure things out.

Amy Sloan: I love that. Your son, who has a 401k already, would probably also be motivated by the money he would save with dual enrollment classes, right?

Pam Barnhill: Yes, yes, that’s true. I need to, I’m not quite so sure in our state that we save a whole lot, Oh, well, that sinks. Yes, it varies from state to state. That’s the other thing, if we could, just make one more point, is everything varies so much from state to state. I know, I’m fairly certain there was at one point in Florida, all homeschoolers had to pay for their books to dual enroll. Then we moved to Alabama, and it’s like, oh, and we did that before we started homeschooling. It was like, now you have to actually pay for the classes and the books to dual enroll. It really does vary from state to state. Taking a little bit of time to not only look at the laws yourself, because I think it’s very important to look at the laws, the guidelines, the programs, all of that stuff, and then connect with some homeschoolers in your state who have done it already. Because you want to know the laws, because sometimes other homeschoolers will lead you astray. You want to know the information for yourself. Then it’s almost like, well, here’s the letter, now let me go talk to somebody about the spirit thing.

Amy Sloan: Yes. I actually have a previous episode with Jennifer DeRosa, all about homeschooling for college credit. She has a lot of resources, state-specific and things like that. I will put that link in the show notes too. 00.51 Yes. 00.52 Pam, this has been so great. I think it’s going to be really encouraging to parents who are thinking about homeschooling their teens and homeschooling the high school years. I think sometimes it’s just nice to hear from moms who have done it and be like, it’s going to be okay. You really can do this. I do need to ask you the questions that I’m asking all of my guests this year. The first is, what book are you currently reading?

Pam Barnhill: I am currently reading Hillbilly Elegy. Okay. Yes, it was recommended to me, I think probably about six years ago, hold onto your hat, by my gynecologist. He was reading it at the time and he’s like, oh, this book is so awesome. You really need to read it. I’ve had it in the back of my mind and this summer it just became more timely. I’m like, oh, I’m going to do what Dr. Martin said. I’m going to pick up the book and read it.

Amy Sloan: It is currently on my library hold list, same thing. I was like, people have been talking about this book for a while. I guess it’s time for me to actually read it. Yes. Yes. Okay. The second and final question is, what would be your best tip for the homeschool day or maybe a homeschool season that just seems to be going completely off the rails?

Pam Barnhill: Don’t try to force it. Don’t try to force it. If it’s a day, my answer is slightly different for two things. If it’s a day, really don’t try to force it. there just comes a time where it does not hurt occasionally to say, what, let’s just go get some ice cream. We’re just having a bad day. Let’s just go get some ice cream or y’all just go play outside. Maybe you don’t need, maybe you don’t feel generous enough to take them for ice cream at the moment. You’re like, okay, just go play outside. It’s okay to do that occasionally, right? If you get into a season though, I really love this idea of seasonal homeschooling because I think, so we have this expectation in our head that homeschooling is good in August and September when we’ve started back and we’re in that honeymoon phase. We work out the first couple of little kinks and then we’re like really in the flow and rocking and rolling with homeschooling and everything is great and we have this high intensity and we’re getting so much done and everything is happening and it feels wonderful. Then we get to November or we get to February and we look back on that time and we’re like, well, my homeschool’s failing now because it’s not like that, right? It’s not supposed to be like that all year. That is the fallacy right there is that we’re supposed to be able to maintain the same level of intensity throughout the whole school year. Naturally, think about waves coming into the shore, high tides and low tides, things going in and out. That is what our homeschool does too, naturally. Naturally, we should have this season. Melissa Wiley talks about this, of this high tide where there’s a lot of stuff going on. We have this intensity. Everything is like rocking and rolling. You have all the cogs going, all the stuff, all the analogies and cliches. Then naturally, we’re supposed to have these periods of low tides. If we lean into those high tide periods and get some stuff done and equally lean into the low tide periods and allow ourselves to just read some really good read-alouds for a while or, maybe back off on a couple of subjects for a few weeks and do less of them and just do some seasonal stuff instead, Then when we’re ready to go high tide again, we have the energy to do it. We haven’t spent the whole low tide time beating ourselves up for not being high tide,

Amy Sloan: Yes, that’s a really good reminder, good encouragement. I need that reminder myself, I think, right now. Thank you. Pam, this was lovely. Please tell everyone where they can find you all around the internet.

Pam Barnhill: I’m at pambarnhill.com and I have a fabulous social media account on Facebook and on Instagram. I can say that because I’m not the person running it. You can find me at Your Morning Basket on those.

Amy Sloan: Okay, and I will have links to all of those things in the show notes for this episode over at humilityanddoxology.com. If you are listening, please take a moment to leave a rating and review in your podcast app. If you’re watching on YouTube, make sure you’re subscribed to this channel so you don’t miss all the other wonderful homeschool conversations coming your way this season. Thank you so much, Pam. Thanks, Amy.

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