From Homeschool Mom to Mentor: Encouragement from a Veteran Homeschooler

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Have you ever wished you could talk to a veteran homeschooler, a mom who could share long-term experience and provide encouragement and advice? Have you wondered what it’s like to transition from the role of homeschooling mom to mentor of young adult and launching big kids? In my recent conversation with Carrie de Francisco, a seasoned homeschool mom, we explored valuable insights that can empower both new and experienced homeschooling families. From the transformative power of the words “yet” and “yes” to the importance of building strong relationships with our children, Carrie shared wisdom that can help us navigate the ups and downs of homeschooling. Whether you’re facing a difficult day or preparing to launch your young adults into the world, Carrie’s reflections provide a roadmap for fostering resilience, trust, and joy in your homeschool.

Table Of Contents

Home Education Perspective
Meaningful Joys of Homeschooling
Juggling Kids and Fighting Burnout: Homeschool Challenges
The power of YES and YET
Advice for homeschooling newbies
Tips for Launching Young Adults
Encouragement for the hard homeschool days
Key Takeaways
Listen to the full podcast episode “From Homeschool Mom to Mentor: Encouragement from a Veteran Homeschooler with Carrie de Francisco” on Homeschool Conversations with Humility and Doxology
Find Carrie de Francisco Online
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Check out all the other interviews in my Homeschool Conversations series!

launching big kids From Homeschool Mom to Mentor Encouragement from a Veteran Homeschooler Carrie De Francisco

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Home Education Perspective

Carrie de Francisco, a retired homeschooling mom of two, shared a bit about her family and how she began her homeschooling journey. Carrie has been married to her husband for nearly 29 years, and they have two grown children, both homeschooled from birth through graduation. Despite her background as a public school teacher, homeschooling wasn’t on Carrie’s radar until one of her middle school students left traditional school to be homeschooled. That encounter planted the seed, though it wasn’t until later, when her own daughter was school-aged, that she and her husband decided to homeschool. What started as a tentative decision turned into a 20-year adventure, with both of her children thriving academically and spiritually as a result.

This personal journey reflects Carrie’s out-of-the-box thinking and her passion for encouraging moms to simplify homeschooling, which she now shares through her podcast, books, and consulting services.

Carrie described how her homeschooling philosophy evolved over the years from a structured, traditional approach to a more flexible, child-led style. Coming from a public school teaching background, she initially brought the “school-at-home” mindset into her homeschooling, relying heavily on textbooks and a regimented structure. However, as she gained more experience and learned to adapt to the unique needs of her children, her approach shifted. Carrie moved through various educational philosophies—starting with a classical approach for the rigor, transitioning to a Charlotte Mason method for a more relaxed, gentle learning style, and eventually embracing eclectic learning and even full-on unschooling during her son’s high school years.

This gradual transformation highlights the flexibility required in homeschooling, as Carrie adjusted her methods based on what worked best for each child at different stages. She emphasized the importance of not being locked into one particular way of homeschooling, recognizing that even within the same family, different seasons and needs may call for different approaches.

Meaningful Joys of Homeschooling

Carrie de Francisco reflected on her favorite parts of homeschooling, emphasizing two aspects that brought her the most joy. First, she cherished the opportunity to learn alongside her children. Homeschooling allowed her to rediscover her own education, filling in gaps from her school years and approaching learning with a renewed sense of wonder. Rather than feeling overwhelmed by the subjects she didn’t know, Carrie embraced the chance to explore new topics with her children. This collaborative learning process became a special journey of curiosity and growth for the entire family.

Her second favorite aspect was homeschooling through the high school years, which she described as a surprisingly magical time. While she enjoyed the younger years, Carrie found that the high school years brought something uniquely special as her children began to discover their passions, purpose, and direction in life. She found it deeply rewarding to walk alongside them during this formative stage, guiding and supporting them as they sought to understand God’s plan for their lives. For Carrie, these high school years were the most meaningful part of her homeschooling experience.

Juggling Kids and Fighting Burnout: Homeschool Challenges

Carrie shared that one of the biggest challenges she faced in homeschooling was during the early years when she was juggling toddlers, babies, and household responsibilities alongside home education. This season can be exhausting, with sleep deprivation and constant demands, leaving moms feeling overwhelmed. It’s important for homeschool mamas to give themselves grace during these tough years. Remember that just because something is hard doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong. Carrie emphasized the importance of managing energy and keeping blood sugar levels in check, noting that “hangry mama” is not a fun mom. Though the early years can feel like an endless stretch of hard work, Carrie reminded homeschool moms that they are laying a foundation, and the fruits of their labor will come in time, as God promises.

Another challenge Carrie addressed was burnout, which she believes often stems from trying to replicate traditional school at home. Moms can burn out quickly when they feel pressured to meet external standards or when they fall into the comparison trap, thinking their homeschooling should look like someone else’s. Carrie encouraged moms to shift their mindset from “doing school at home” to embracing “home education,” recognizing that learning happens in all aspects of life, not just formal lessons. By giving themselves grace and letting go of comparison, homeschool moms can avoid burnout and approach their teaching with more peace and freedom, trusting in God’s grace and love for them.

The power of YES and YET

Carrie de Francisco shared that the two most important words she added to her vocabulary through homeschooling are “yet” and “yes.”

The word “yet” came to her through a moment of frustration when she was struggling with technology. Her daughter reminded her that she wasn’t good at tech yet, but she would be, transforming the challenge into a goal. This word became a powerful tool in homeschooling, especially for moments when her children faced struggles. The word “yet” reframed obstacles as opportunities for growth, aligning with the idea that God is not finished with us yet and that progress is ongoing.

The second word, “yes,” came from recognizing the importance of being present and open to her children. Carrie realized that while “no” is necessary in many situations, especially in raising teens, saying “yes” when her children needed her—whether for a late-night conversation or spontaneous connection—was crucial. This word helped her prioritize relationships and offer her undivided attention, fostering connection and trust, even as her children grew into adults.

Advice for homeschooling newbies

In hindsight, Carrie de Francisco said she would tell her younger self to “just breathe and chill out.” Reflecting on her earlier homeschooling years, she realized she had been caught up in a rush, trying to juggle everything and push her children, but now wishes she had paused to savor the season. She remembers seasoned moms advising her to enjoy the moment, but at the time, she was too overwhelmed by the chaos at home to fully appreciate their wisdom.

Looking back, Carrie emphasizes that homeschooling is more about building a strong foundation of faith and relationships with your kids, while academics naturally follow. She encourages moms to let go of the pressure to push for immediate results, trusting that their children will learn what they need over time. The reminder to “just breathe and enjoy the mess” is the advice she’d most want her younger self to hear.

Tips for Launching Young Adults

Carrie described the transition from homeschooling mom to mom of adult children as a shift from being the primary teacher and mentor to becoming a cheerleader and prayer warrior. She emphasized that once children are launched into adulthood, parents must trust that all the work they put in—and God’s guidance—will help their children thrive. Though this transition brings the realization that control is no longer in their hands, it’s also a season of witnessing the “fruit” of their efforts, as children grow into their callings and passions.

Carrie shared that while it’s a joy to watch adult children flourish, this new phase also involves more prayer and deeper trust in God. She expressed how, although parenting babies brought sleepless nights, the sleeplessness of having adult children comes with a greater recognition of dependence on God.

Carrie advised moms who are preparing to launch their children to also start thinking about their own “launch” into a new season. She shared how many homeschooling moms, herself included, are unprepared for the “Now what?” phase that follows years of devoting time to home education. Starting to pray and consider what God might have planned for them in the next phase can help ease that transition.

Encouragement for the hard homeschool days

Carrie shared two valuable tips for dealing with a homeschool day or season that seems to be going all wrong.

First, she recommended memorizing Isaiah 54:13: “All your children will be taught by the Lord, and great shall be their peace.” She found comfort in the reminder that it’s ultimately the Lord who is leading her children’s education, and she is simply privileged to come alongside them. Holding on to the promise of peace helped her get through difficult days.

Second, Carrie offered a practical tip: on bad days, if all you manage to do is read from the Bible and a good chapter book, that’s still a good enough day. She reassured that there’s always tomorrow to continue and regroup.

Key Takeaways

The Power of ‘Yet’ and ‘Yes’: Incorporating the words “yet” and “yes” into homeschooling fosters a growth mindset and encourages connection with children.
Embrace the Journey: It’s important to slow down and enjoy the homeschooling journey instead of rushing through it, as children grow up quickly.
Focus on Relationships: Building strong relationships with children is essential; academics should be viewed as secondary to instilling values and connection.
Trust in God: Parents should have faith that God will guide their children, reinforcing the importance of prayer and trust during challenging times.
Adjusting Roles in High School: As children transition into high school, parents shift from being primary teachers to mentors and supporters of their goals.
The Role of Cheerleader: Once children are launched into adulthood, parents become their biggest cheerleaders and prayer warriors, trusting that their upbringing will bear fruit.
Prepare for the Transition: Anticipating life after homeschooling and considering personal purpose is crucial as children prepare to leave the nest.
Seek Community Support: Finding a new community or support system after children graduate can help ease the transition for homeschooling parents.
Practical Strategies for Bad Days: On difficult homeschooling days, focusing on reading the Bible and a good book can make the day worthwhile.
Long-Term Perspective: Maintaining a long-term view helps parents remember that children will learn and grow in their own time, regardless of immediate challenges.

Listen to the full podcast episode “From Homeschool Mom to Mentor: Encouragement from a Veteran Homeschooler with Carrie de Francisco” on Homeschool Conversations with Humility and Doxology

Carrie De Francisco is a wife and “retired” homeschooling mom of two homeschool graduates living and learning in Southern CA. She is the host of the homeschool podcast, Coffee With Carrie, speaker, and author of several books including, Just Breathe (and Take a Sip of Coffee): Homeschool Simply & Enjoyably, and Homeschool High School: A Handbook for Christian Education. Through her consulting services, books, online courses, blog articles, and podcast, she helps moms simplify their homeschooling one step at a time, one day at a time, and one cup of coffee at a time. Carrie is an out-of-the-box thinker which is probably why she was an outside-of-the-curriculum-box homeschooler.

Find Carrie de Francisco Online

Check out all the other interviews in my Homeschool Conversations series!

Amy Sloan: Hello, friends. Today I am joined by Carrie DeFrancisco, who is a wife and retired homeschooling mom of two homeschool graduates living and learning in Southern California. She’s the host of the homeschool podcast Coffee with Carrie, a speaker and author of several books, including Just Breathe and Take a Sip of Coffee, and Homeschool High School, a Handbook for Christian Education. Through Carrie’s consulting services, books, online courses, blog articles, and podcasts, she helps moms simplify their homeschooling one step at a time, one day at a time, and one cup of coffee at a time. I like that. Carrie is an out-of-the-box thinker, which is probably why she was an outside-of-the-box, outside-of-the-curriculum-box homeschooler, which I love. Those who have been around here for a while know I’m a fan of textbook-free learning whenever possible. Carrie, can you tell us a little bit more about yourself and your family and how you originally got started homeschooling?

Carrie de Francisco: Thank you again for having me on. This is going to be so much fun because, like you, I love my coffee and I love conversation, so this is going to be great. You already said I’ve been married to my husband for, I think we’re going on 29 years come this November, so he’s definitely the love of my life, my best friend. Fun story, I met him within two weeks of moving to California, so I knew it was meant to be when the Lord brought him into my life that quickly. You said, we have two kids that are now grown adults, one’s 25, one’s 21. I like to say that, including the gray hair, I am a walking testament that homeschooling does work because both of my kids homeschooled, I like to say, from birth until graduation, and they’re doing just fine. My daughter’s got multiple degrees and my son is graduating college as we speak, and so they’re doing great. They’re walking with the Lord, so lots of good right there. How do we start our homeschooling? I definitely was not like you. I wasn’t homeschooled as a kid. I was a public school teacher, and so I had no intentions of homeschooling. I didn’t even know what it was, actually, until one day one of the students in my middle school math and science class, his mom came and said, we’re done. We’re out of here. I’m taking them out. We’re going to homeschool. I thought this lady was crazy. That was like the first time the Lord put it on my brain. I was like, homeschooling, what is this? It took a little while. It took for my daughter to be born and all that stuff. Long story, once put her into a classroom, we just went, no, we’re going to do this homeschooling thing. My husband used to say, well, take it one year at a time. Famous last words, right? 20 years later. Yes, so.

Amy Sloan: Carrie, how did your approach to education grow and change over the years? I would assume coming from a public school background as a teacher, you may have come in with some assumptions about what homeschooling would look like. How did that grow or develop over the years?

Carrie de Francisco: Let’s say it morphed. Yes, I have a lot of friends who are teachers who decided to home educate. We all have the same story. We come home and we start doing school at home because that’s what we know, right? That’s what we were taught. Many of us like you, unlike you, we didn’t homeschool. Even if they weren’t classroom teachers, school is what they know. That’s what I did, right? I feel bad for my eldest, because, the oldest is always the guinea pig, right? That man, that first year, it was, textbooks and we’re going to do it this way. I didn’t have her stand to say the pledge, but it was it was pretty regimented, Then we morphed into classical approach because it was still, that nice rigor a deal, but not traditional. Then my son came along and I realized, no, we need to do more of a Charlotte Mason. We need to really tone this down a little bit. Then by my daughter’s middle school, we were doing full on unit studies, eclectic. Then by the time my son was in high school, we were full on unschoolers.

Amy Sloan: That is a progression.

Carrie de Francisco: I’m totally traditional to, all right, what are we learning this year? How are we going to do it? All right, let’s do it. Let’s hit the book. Let’s do it.

Amy Sloan: I think that’s really fun to just see how as you came into your own as the homeschool mom, and as you started working with your two different but unique children, how you just sort of figured things out along the way and you didn’t feel locked in just to one particular way of doing things. I often will tell people, there’s not just one right way to homeschool, which is true family to family, but sometimes it’s also true just within your own family, right? There’s not just one right way for your family, depending on the year, circumstances, family needs, and all that.

Carrie de Francisco: I had a closet full of books and resources that I saved for my daughter, thinking, oh, this worked wonders with her. I’m going to use these with my son. With those, what I did with those things in that closet.

Amy Sloan: Oh man, that’s, I can, yes, I can relate to that for sure. Carrie, what were some of your favorite parts of homeschooling over the years?

Carrie de Francisco: Okay. I know this might sound a little cliche, but there were two things that were really my favorite part. One was getting to learn with my kids. I loved learning alongside them. In a really interesting way, I feel like the Lord was redeeming my own education and my own walk of learning and giving me a new sense of wonder through our home education, because I joke about this, but it’s really not a joke. I didn’t realize how dumb I was until I started homeschooling. I was like, oh wow, there’s a lot of holes in my education. Instead of me looking at it as, oh my gosh, I can’t do this, which of course in the beginning I did, that’s what a lot of moms are. That’s smart enough. I’m not good enough. that’s all the lies they try to tell themselves or they believe about themselves. I took it as an opportunity to know, just tell my kids, I don’t know, but let’s go figure it out or let’s go find out, or let’s go learn together. A lot of the subjects that I absolutely hated in grammar school and high school and college wind up being some of my favorite subjects now to learn about. I feel it’s because of the homeschooling, right? That I think is my favorite, just the privilege of being able to learn right alongside my kids. I think the second favorite thing about homeschooling was the high school years. I really love to hear that. I thought the, when they were younger and they were playing with their mud pies and all that stuff, yes, that was fun. That was cute. I thought, oh, it can’t get better than this, but it does. God literally saves the best for last. I know you’ve already graduated one. I think you can pretty much agree with me. The high school years are just, I don’t want to say they’re magical. There’s just something about them that it’s just beautiful. It truly was the best part of homeschooling was getting to be right alongside my kids as they were discovering who they created to be. They were figuring out their passions and their purpose in life and what God wanted them to do in his kingdom and how they were going to go about doing that and to be there with them through the good stuff and the challenges when sometimes those revelations weren’t coming as quickly as they would like, right? I would say the high school year was by far my favorite.

Amy Sloan: I don’t know if you’ve ever had this experience where you read something in your private devotions and then you go to church and there’s a Sunday school lesson and then the sermon and no one had prepared ahead of time to coordinate these three things. You’re like, I think I’m sensing a theme here. I’m feeling this way about actually this podcast season, which was unintentional on my part, but it’s become very evident as I’ve talked to so many moms who either have teens now or are veteran homeschool moms looking back. Many again and again are saying those teen years, those high school years are so precious. They’re a joy. It’s a gift. This is a wonderful part of homeschooling. I’m getting goosebumps actually thinking about it because I think both for moms who are close to that, who are maybe worried about the teen years, that’s going to be an encouragement to them. To the young mom listening, I hope that also gives her this vision that those things you’re doing now in the little years, they’re going to pay off. It’s worth it. I think that’s neat that that’s just coming up again and again. I love hearing that from you. Good. I’m glad. Okay. All these wonderful parts of homeschooling, right? It’s sometimes a little tricky. We cry in our coffee sometimes, right? What were some of those challenges you faced when you were homeschooling and how did you seek to overcome those challenges?

Carrie de Francisco: that’s a very loaded question because this could be a whole podcast episode by itself. On the flip side of what was my favorite part, I think one of the most challenging seasons for me personally were the younger years when there was so much energy and toddlers and babies and diapers and piles and stuff. You took on this extra role of home educating. Those years can be really hard. They really can. I think for mamas, they just, first of all, give themselves grace. They got to give themselves grace, right? To also keep in mind that just because something’s hard doesn’t mean they’re doing it wrong. That season can be really hard because everyone is sleep deprived. Everyone is hungry all the time, including mama. You got to watch those blood sugar levels, right? Because hangry mama is not a fun mom. I would say those younger years were pretty challenging. You said, it’s just a season and you’re building a foundation. You’re digging those roots and you may not see the fruit for a really long time, but the fruit will come because the Lord, he promises that. I think the other challenge for me, but I think for a lot of moms, no matter what stage of homeschooling they’re in, burnout is huge. It’s huge. I think burnout for what my thoughts on this is that burnout comes faster and more often when moms do try to do school at home. When they look at it as homeschooling and not home education, right? When they’re trying to replicate something that didn’t work in the first place, or when they’re trying to replicate something that’s following standards that don’t meet their family standards and God’s standards, it’s going to be, there’s going to be some conflict there. It’s going to be hard and you’re going to burn out. I think doing school at home is part of that, but also the comparison game. That comes with the school at home, because even when moms stand back and go, okay, there was a reason why we didn’t want to do the traditional school system. Why am I doing all of the same stuff here? Then they see their neighbors and their kids are doing this. Maybe even some of their homeschooling friends, their kids know this and can recite this and can do this and their kids can’t. Our natural tendency is to go, oh, well, maybe we do need to pull it back and do more, structure at home. Maybe that’s the problem. I’m not saying structure’s bad. I’m just saying, if we change our mindset that, we’re not teaching curriculum, we’re teaching children, right? We’re not doing school at home. Everything is an education. From the moment you wake up to the moment you go to bed, your kids are learning something. Yes, I think just changing the mindset and again, giving ourselves grace and not giving into the comparison goes a long way to battling the challenges.

Amy Sloan: I think both with comparison or with, laying this whole list of things you think school needs to look like. Both of those things come down to a bit of almost an idolatry, right? Where we’re so worried, is God going to be pleased with me? Am I going to be a good enough mom? All of these things that we’re like, okay, I’ve got to meet all of these checklists, right? This burden that we have placed on ourselves. I think that’s why the gospel brings such peace and hope in the midst of those seasons of burnout or where we’ve put a bigger burden on ourselves than God has. Because I love to remember that God can’t be more perfectly pleased with me, no matter what I do, because he’s already perfectly pleased with me for the sake of Christ. If homeschool moms can remember they’re already perfectly loved, right, by God, and he’s already perfectly pleased with us for Christ’s sake, like that just takes that burden off of trying to achieve more, do more, meet some artificial standard. That doesn’t mean, of course, that we don’t like want to do a good job and be faithful stewards of our children and their education. There’s such a difference of doing that out of freedom and peace and doing it as this burden that we have to bear. Yes. Amen, sister. Yes. Okay. Carrie, one of the things I like to do with my guests is sometimes ask them like, hey, if you were going to ask yourself a question, what question would you want to answer? This question you left for me was very tantalizing, and I want to know the answer. You said to ask you this question, what are the two most important words that you have added to your vocabulary because of homeschooling?

Carrie de Francisco: Why, I’m so glad you asked me that question, Amy. Okay. They’re two very small words, but the words yet and yes. The story behind them is the word yet. I was working on my computer. I’m always working on a computer, right? Trying to get my new website up. It was like two, three hours I was working on this. I was so frustrated because I swear I have this technology force field around me. I’m surprised this interview is like going great because usually something happens. I’m frustrated. I slam my computer down, the cover down. I said, oh, I’m just not good at this tech stuff. My daughter was home and she was in the kitchen and she walked behind me and she whispered yet and started to walk out the room. I went, what? What are you talking about? She goes, mom, you may not be good at this technology stuff yet, but you will be, you’ll get there. I went, oh, she like totally changed the challenge or a problem with one word into a goal or a promise, something for me to work towards. It reminded me of the Bible verse, with the Lord, all things are possible, right? The Lord’s not done with us yet. Basically that’s my paraphrase of, the Lord’s not finished with us. Yet is definitely a word I added into our homeschooling, especially when it came to graphia. Sometimes both he and I just had to sit back and go, okay, son, you may not be able to do this just yet, but you will, you’re going to get this. This is going to be part of your story, part of your testimony. The Lord’s going to use this. I feel like that’s a very powerful conjunction, that word yet. That was one of them. Then the other one is yes. The reason I say that is because I know in today’s world, we’re, we do, we’re supposed to say no a lot to our kids because, they need to learn that there’s a time and a place for things. However, they hear no a lot. When they got to be, especially in their teen years, I realized how important it was to just say yes. When they came like at midnight with mom, can I talk to you about, yes, what’s up? Mom, can you come with me to, yes, let’s do it. How can I help? Where are we going? What do you want me to listen to? I just realized that sometimes our kids just want our undivided attention just for five seconds. the phone’s down, the computer’s away. They just want to connect with us. We need to be able to just put everything aside for a little bit and say, yes, let’s spend some time or let’s talk or let’s do this. Now that I’m a mom of adult children, I love that word even more because when they do call and say, mom, do you have? I go, yes. Come over for dinner. What you need? What do you want me to do? Even as an adult of an empty nester, I really love the word yes now.

Amy Sloan: Oh, I love that. I think that’s such a powerful and simple reminder. We can get so locked into our to-do lists or just the busyness of the routine. Just remember to take that pause, to focus on that person. I remember one time interviewing Misty Winkler and she said that she, for a while, like literally put on her to-do list, smile at my children. which sounds silly, but sometimes we just get in this zone, this work zone, do the next thing. Just like taking that minute, stop, turn and look at your child in the eye, smile at them, say yes, listen, because that relationship really matters. Now that you’re looking back, you have this hindsight of having gone through the homeschooling years and now you have adult children. What would you want to say to your younger self before starting to homeschool?

Carrie de Francisco: Just breathe and chill out. Oh my gosh. I was on the homeschool hamster wheel or the crazy train, whichever version you want to look at, for far too long. I just wish I would have hit the pause button a long time ago. I wish I would have listened to those mentor moms that when I went to park day with my little ones who were full of energy, right? I’m pulling my hair out because I was just relieved I got there and everybody was in one piece, right? I actually remembered to bring their shoes, right? The moms would look at me and say, oh, honey, don’t worry. Just enjoy this season. Before it, they’re going to be grown and out the house. I’m thinking you people are crazy. You don’t know what I left behind. You don’t know the pile of dishes, the laundry, what it took to get me here. I really wish I would have taken that advice a long time ago. To not push and to rush, right? To rush out the door, to push the kids. the Lord created us and our kids to be learning machines. In my mind, homeschooling is really all about instilling a firm foundation and belief in the Lord and building relationships with our kids. The academics is the icing on the cake. it comes. It’s going to come. The kids are going to learn. They’re going to leave the house and they’re going to know how to wash their own clothes and read books and be able to vote. I think that would be the main thing, is to just breathe and enjoy the mess while it’s there. Because before it, it’s going to be a pretty big problem.

Amy Sloan: Yes. It reminds me of, I was so stressed. Okay. I’ll just say, I’m good at many things. Potty training is not one of them. I’ve done it five times. I did a terrible job all five times. I don’t know what it is about me not being able to potty train. I remember just being so stressed out with that first couple kids. Just really stressed about the fact that potty training was not going the way I thought it ought to. Comparing, of course, to friends and family members who had these magical little potty-trained babies, practically. I was like, ah. Then as they got older, I realized, what? All of them eventually figured it out. By the time they’re like five, six, seven, no one is asking you the question anymore, when did your kids start potty training, right? No one asks your high school graduate, so how old were you when you were potty trained? Not on the job applications, that’s for sure. I know. This is not something we put on the transcript, okay? I wish that I had that perspective, of course, sooner. I think that’s probably similar to a lot of other things. learning how to read, finally getting that fraction understanding, being able to multiply and divide fractions. Whatever it is, we put so much pressure right there in the moment, and forget that eventually they’re going to figure it out, we’re going to get there, and eventually no one is going to care when it happened.

Carrie de Francisco: Yes, I remember going into my son’s freshman year of high school, one of my good friends who had been there, done that, she had graduated her kids, and she says, oh, you have four more summers left. I went, oh my gosh, I have four more summers left. just that perspective of everything is going to change. Change doesn’t mean bad, change in a good way, right? They’re going to be launched, but wow, I only have this sacred amount of time, just a little bit longer. Then the moms, like you said, who are in the middle of potty training, they can’t think that far in advance, but trust both of us if you’re listening.

Amy Sloan: Let’s chill, just breathe. What is it like transitioning from homeschooling mom to mom of adult children, right? I have graduated my oldest son a couple years ago. He is growing in his adulthood. I love seeing the godly young man God is making him into. My daughter is going to be graduating, Lord willing, this year. It’s just a different transition. Just selfishly, I would like to ask, please give me all your tips for launching big kids, transitioning into this new phase of motherhood

Carrie de Francisco: . I will say that just like when they moveinto the high school years, your role changes from primary teacher to mentor and personal assistant, where you’re they’re telling you what they want to do, what their goals are, and you’re helping them do it, Once you launch them, you really are, you become literally their biggest cheerleader and their biggest prayer warrior. Those are like your two biggest roles and most important roles at this point, because you just have to trust that, everything that you did and the Lord was working on that it’s going to, they’re going to hit the mark when you launch them. I used to think those sleepless nights when they were babies was tough, but I actually sleep less for grown adult kids, I do fall asleep. You really get this realization of I have no control. This truly is in God’s hands, whereas before when you were homeschooling them and they were still under your roof, you still had some level of control and, some stuff that was happening. Once they launch and they’re on their own, you really have to trust in the Lord and you’re on your knees literally a whole lot more. That’s the more challenging part of it. I do love this season because that hard work we were talking about earlier, building those roots and digging deep, and sometimes you don’t see any fruit. This is the season where you get to sit back and you get to watch that tree just bloom. You get to see fruit that you’re like, oh my gosh, that really did take root, Then you get to see them like totally enjoy being or fulfilling those dreams that they have and their purpose in life. Just watching my daughter, she’s a therapist, and just watching her do what she really felt the Lord was calling her to do. Even though it’s hard and it’s taxing on her, personally, because that’s a hard job, she is just filled with so much joy because she really feels like she’s doing what the Lord has called her to do. As a mom, I’m like, okay. Yes, all of it. It was good. It was worth it. I love the front row seats that I have now of watching them just become who God created them to be.

Amy Sloan: Yes, it’s really exciting to see God working in your children. we have this like illusion, delusion of control when they’re little. Then, that quickly is removed as they begin getting older. Then to see that, I was never the Holy Spirit of my children, right? To see God working in them, that’s such a fun thing.

Carrie de Francisco: I will say, though, I put in my speaking packet for next year a whole new topic called, Now What? Because I realized when I was transitioning from homeschooling mom to retired homeschooling mom, none of my mentor moms prepared me for what do I do now? Now what? because you’re not quite there yet. When you literally devote 20 plus years of not just mothering your kids, but home educating your kids, and then you remove that hat, you’re like, huh, now what does God want me to do? Sometimes we’re so in the moment of teaching our own kids, we’re not thinking, we’re thinking, I have four more summers left. I have three more summers left. I have two more summers left with my kid or my kids, not, ooh, what does God have for me on the other side of this? I think it’s real important that moms start to pray about and think about their maybe last kid or two start getting into that high school years. Okay, it’s their time to launch, but I think I need to start preparing myself for my new launching. What is that going to look like on the other side of it? I think it’s a topic because a lot of moms come to me now with that question. A lot of my friends who are now retired, and they’re like, I don’t, I don’t know what to do. That was my whole life. Our whole, usually your whole community and your friend base is your homeschooling friends. When everybody graduates in the same timeframe, there goes your community sometimes, and so it can be really hard. It can be really hard.

Amy Sloan: Yes, I’ll definitely be thinking about it. I’ll have to come back and pick your brain about that in a few years. I thankfully have, I still have a nine-year-old, so I have a little bit long. You have, you have quite a few summers left. Yes. I think too, especially if you’ve, if you’ve put your whole identity in homeschool mom, right, that will be probably a really big, hard transition. Probably a good reminder even now while I’m here in this season to have that not be my identity, like my identity being in Christ, right? I’m not in this one part of my vocation right now. Yes. Carrie, this has been just absolutely delightful. I cannot wait to share this conversation with folks. Here at the end, I want to ask you the questions I’m asking all my guests this season. The first is just, what are you personally reading lately?

Carrie de Francisco: Okay, I was so excited. I wanted to share with you. It’s called How Many Times Do I Have to Tell You by Rachel Carmen. I love this book. She takes all those things that we’re constantly telling our kids, be nice to your brother and sister. Then she relates it to, actually, that’s what God’s trying to tell me. How are you treating your brothers and sisters in Christ? She turns all of those things that we’re constantly telling our kids every day, all day long into, hmm, maybe that’s what God’s trying to tell you, my sister. It’s a great book. It’s by Rachel Carmen. It’s a short read. It’s easily, you could get through a couple of little chapters of lessons a day. It’s fun.

Amy Sloan: It sounds encouraging and convicting, both. All right, well, the final question is, what would be your best tip for helping turn around a homeschool day or maybe season that seems to be going all wrong?

Carrie de Francisco: Two things. Memorize Isaiah 54 13, which says, all your children will be taught by the Lord and great shall be their peace. I had to memorize that and hang it up everywhere. On those bad days or in the bad seasons, I could be reminded that it really is the Lord who’s doing this. I just have the privilege of coming alongside. The promise is something I held onto. Great shall be their peace. That’s one. Then the other one is very practical. On those really bad days, if all you do are two things, read from the good book, the Bible, and read from a good book, any good chapter book, it’s a good enough day. There’s always tomorrow.

Amy Sloan: That is a fantastic tip. Carrie, this is wonderful. Please let everyone know where they can find you all around the internet.

Carrie de Francisco: Yes, it’s easy. If you just go to my website, coffeewithcarrie.org, and that’s where you can find everything. I’m on Instagram at Coffee with Carrie Consultants, my podcast, Coffee with Carrie Homeschool Help. You can find that at my website. Yes, we also have a membership now, an online community that you could be a part of where we do a lot of fun stuff and Bible study. All of that stuff, my blog, all that stuff can be

Amy Sloan: found at coffeewithcarrie.org. Fabulous. I will have those links in the show notes for this episode over at humilityanddoxology.com. If you are listening or watching, I would love for you to take a minute to pass this episode along to a homeschool mom friend that you think could use this encouragement, this hindsight perspective, the wisdom of Carrie today. If you’re listening in your podcast app, please take a moment to leave a rating and review. If you’re watching on YouTube, go ahead and subscribe so you don’t miss the rest of the homeschool conversations this season. Carrie, it was lovely to chat with you today. Thank you so much.

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